My husband kept stuff. I have a 4 drawer filing cabinet, an office stationery cupboard and several book cases full of stuff. All his university certificates, numerous photo albums, probate papers for his mother and first wife. Legal documents for every house he ever bought. It is all meticulously filed in its own folder. There are drawers of pens, pencils, staples, etc.
Same story with his tools, many still boxed, although well used. A small cabinet of nails and screws, each size in its own compartment or drawer. And so it goes on.
I am 68. I hope I have got years left, but one day someone (my son, because there is nobody else) is going to be left with this lot if I donāt do something about it.
Today I made a start on the paperwork. The car brochures and engineering magazines were easy to dispose of in the recycle bin. But the more personal stuff is difficult. I shredded house purchase documents and bills from the ones before I met him. But what about degree diplomas and such like? He had no family left.
What have other people done?
They donāt hurt me, they are not actually in my way. If I do dispose of them I will have an empty shelf or drawer. But is it fair to leave so much meaningless stuff for someone else to sort out? My son is from my first marriage, his Dad died 20 years ago, so this stuff is meaningless to him. I am in a quandary.
Oh, tell me about itā¦ I let my partnerās daughter have what she wanted - though heād left her most of what he owned anyway; I got just the residue of his estate which includes 10 boxes of Bosch tools, about 20 million assorted screws, hammers, paintpots and general Man Stuff, and his Neil Diamond cds (donāt askā¦). Yes , personal stuff is difficult; Iāve kept it all for now. I think maybe itās too soon to junk it, but in a year or so one might feel differently and be able to dispose of it slowly.
How about a game of poker?
I will raise you one angle grinder and a box of counter-sunk cross head screws!
Xx
Ok, Iāll raise you with a punctured inflatable dinghy, 200 dried-up paintpots and a boat-trailer without any wheels! xx
Your collection seems even more daunting than mine. Perhaps we should heed Kenny Rogers and learn when to hold them and when to fold them.
xx
Oh tell me about it. Before he passed away my husband said he had sorted out his filing system ! I have found 10 years of credit card slips, instruction leaflets for things long gone to the tip, bills going back to before we moved to this house and lets not start on the āstuffā he bought for the model railway layout he was building. Then theres the potting shed ā¦
I just have to laugh at some of the things he kept. Bless! 
Hi, my husband had lots of tools and building stuff , i either put it on gumtree or facebook market or gave it away to men in shedsā¦they might be in your area just google itā¦they take a lot if stuff
Itās been 22months since i lost my darling wife i still have all her clothes handbag and personal belongings which i will keep forever they are part of me it would upset me badly if anything happened to them all exactly where she kept them.
I had to get a skip to get rid of a lot of his rubbish.I gave stuff to people that wanted it donated most of his clothes to a local charity.Donāt get me wrong I still have lots of his things I will have forever his glasses and book he was reading are on the coffee table his shoes by the door his dressing gown hung up in the bedroom heās all around me.But I wouldnāt want to leave everything for someone to sort out when I am gone it was hard enough for me men are such hoarders.
Snap! I actually have a train layout attached to the walls of the spare bedroom, and canāt remove it as itās attached so tightly. Iām going to have to pay a local odd-job man to do it. Bless them.
I got a skip, too. Best thing I did, though I kept all the personal stuff, and a lot that they wouldnāt allow in a skip.
I got rid of everything within the first 2 weeks. Our son has all the personal stuff, i havent kept anything, its myway of coping, had to make it mine, no ours, it would have been too upsettng for me to see al his stuff and him not here. He died 2 months ago after 54 years together, miss him like crazy but he lives in my heart. I got a tattoo of his name and that gives me comfort. You have to do what is right for you, there is no right oor wrong way
My Mums Chest of drawers were bursting with clothes which we donated to the children air ambulance which my Mum paid monthly too
We had my Son and all Grandchildren and Grandchildren memory bears made out of my Mums dressing gowns we still have a massive wardrobe full of my Mums Beautiful clothes but we are not ready to lose them at the moment
Hope this helps x
I do understand that giving clothes etc away may comfort some people but i think me keeping her belongings help get through but my son and daughter in law has agreed that when i am āgoneā they will keep some of both of our things and give rest tp charity they fully understood
Further to my last listing she didnāt have much anyway she was very basic
I can not bring myself to even move any stuff , thinking about it makes me worse.
I know I will have to in the end only 7 weeks since my loss still very raw
Just deal with it your own time, and remember everyone does it differently. You must feel your loss very atrongly at this early stage. I am nearly 7 months along this journey, and my husbands things are still beside his chair and on the bedside table. He could come on ( I wish!) and just carry on where left off.
Ive got rid of a few magazines that I will never read but thats about it. I firmly believe that only you will know when the time is right, and for some that day may never come and thats fine too. Just be kind to yourself.
If and when you will do it in your time