I never know what to say, ‘I have lost my Husband’ sounds like I have been careless & he has wandered off like a naughty toddler & I cant find him. ‘My Husband has passed’ is like he’s in the past as he sure as hell is not in the present nor will be in my future . ‘I am a widow’ is just affirmation that you are no longer part of a couple, that you are now on your own. ‘My Husband died 7 weeks ago’ why do we always tend to put the timeframe on it, like that makes any difference just wondering what other people say to describe the situation.
I only wished i had just " lost him " temporarily of course, and he would be soon found and returned to me…To be honest i say all the above emphasising on a " a few months ago, " never mentioning those few months were as long ago as nine months, well it still seems just like yesterday to me…
That’s an easy answer Mrs Colt, you say whatever you darn well want to say, don’t worry what others think. Whatever you tell people who don’t already know it is going to produce the same reaction, it makes them uncomfortable because they don’t know how to react at first, they are looking for you to take the lead. If it feels and sounds right for you - do it!
Take care, Carl.
I’m with you I don’t know what to say. To say I have lost him makes me feel exactly the same, that I will have to go and find him if only!!! I hate saying the word died. I never give a time scale unless I’m asked as I don’t keep track of days or months. I just say recently if asked.
I say he died because it is more shocking and may help them to realise the enormity of my loss and the loss of his life
I am with Pat on this one what they think is unimportant
Must admit i hate the word died. I always have, so i say my partner passed away. My housephone rang the other day and someone, must have been a cold caller, because no one else rings, asked to speak to alan. I just put the phone down on them. Janet x
…if that was not bad enought, the person on the other end of your phone could have had at least the decency to have asked for Mr ( surname, ) just who gives a total stranger over the phone the right to assume they can refer to someone by their Christian name as if they were longstanding friends or family…Is this how they are taught to in these call centres, to disrespect…
I have worked in so called call centres and i always would address the person on the other end of the phone as Mrs or Mr if this was their title…
But yes, it hits us hard when we take a phone call, see an email- a letter - with our beloveds name assuming he - she is still alive…
Good morning all. Maybe it’s because I’m a little further on in my journey but I must say how I love to receive a piece of post addressed to my husband. Oh and to receive a phone call… I simply say “I’m sorry but my husband isn’t here at the moment”. Maybe I’m a tad weird. We’re all different but it’s just that either of those things make me feel like he’s still here, well I can pretend anyway. I was always good at playing ‘make believe’. However, it’s happening less now but still does occasionally.
Crazy Kate , I also say my husband isn’t home - I never write widow - I am still married to him -
Hear, hear Sadie xx
I do not intend flooding all of you with religious poems, however, the two which I have posted are so appropriate to me, I wanted to share them.
Thanks Mary, lovely verse. Hope you are feeling better today
… thank you for the reminder, i have come across " The Weaver " poem before , it was posted on my seniors & friends American forum…
You are welcome friends, I had a bad start to the day, I felt so ill and then I realised I was heartsick. As the day has worn on, I have started to feel more settled but the ache is still here.