I mentioned to my very supportive friend that another “friend”?? and neighbour of nearly 40 years whom I’ve had no contact from her in 3 months - living two doors away. Previous conversation was always her, her hubby or their dogs! Text would be to borrow usually , never asking how I was or to offer help and so I distanced myself.
She has approached my daughter who said it’s obviously a difficult time & I’ve had a lot to deal with but mum would “come round” in her own time.
Do I make the first move or is this lack of contact her problem??
G. X
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I would personally wait to see if she makes the first move then decide your response.
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Thanks Debbie,
That’s my thinking too but as usual I always self doubt myself! Missing my voice of reason & listening ears.
I see her & her hubby passing by - I’m past the hurt stage -
G. X
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Hi there
I had a friend that never bothered to get in touch so I contacted her and she did visit me but told me not to visit her as her house was such a mess. I thought her excuse a bit thin but left her alone, she then wrote to me and it was pages all about her. not one word asking me how I was.
I’ve not bothered since. I don’t go running after people. So I suppose it depends on how much you value her friendship and if you have a forgiving nature.
Pat
xx
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Hi @Grandma.
I think it depends on a couple of things really.
First and foremost, does your friend/neighbour add anything to your life?
Have you missed her company/chat or not at all?
When you say she “approached” your daughter, did she actively seek her out to ask about you or just bump into her in the shops? - the former, to me, would indicate someone who does “care” but is not necessarily very good at showing it - the latter would indicate someone with a bit of a guilty conscience who wants to be seen saying the right thing.
Having mulled that over, I would then decide whether to leave well alone or rekindle the friendship.
Some people are just rubbish at interacting with us bereaved folk for all sorts of reasons which have nothing to do with us and some people are just nasty folk.
Reading your posts, you always strike me as a very wise woman so whatever you decide will be right.
Xxx
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