How is everyone today. Iv been trying to push myself to try ans do small jobs around the house, not coping well as was folding marks clothes that had been in the wash and found myself craddling them and the tears flowed. I just feel metally and physically exhausted and i try to distract myself.and then my brain decided to replay the night i came in from work on 1st August and found he had taken his life . Why wont my brain just stop doing this to me. Sending love and hugs to all of you on another day without our partners and loved ones xx
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My dear @Miamoo2017 - hello there x
Crikey - you have been through a horrendous experience and are still in the very earliest stages of grief. For that, congratulations for even getting up this morning. It is truly, truly hard and you are doing all you can simply to survive. Take a moment and just think about yourself, cradle yourself, love yourself for where you are, for what you have been through, for all the loss you carry.
These are the days, weeks and months of our lives where we must be gentle on ourselves as we grieve, and shout, and mourn and stumble. Every decision, every choice, has to be made alone where once we were part of a team, a pair, that could share to load and the love that came with it.
My dear, you have had the most appalling shock and you need time to process it all. That’s why your brain replays what happened on repeat - it may be trying to find the answer to the question - why did this happen? It is looking for clues, perhaps and it is in shock as the discovery was so devastating.
Try not to beat yourself up about getting things done today. It is a warm day, maybe sit outside for a while if you can, with a cold drink and just be, just sit, just breathe.
The road ahead will become clear and you will find your way in time, but for now, just let go of trying to be strong, and love yourself through this.
Your friends on here will support you,
Hold tight,
Loads of love,
Vancouver xx
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Thank you so much for all these kind words i appreciate it greatly. Everything you say is so true but so hard to try but i will do utter most to follow your kind words. Can i ask how long it has been since you lost your loved one xx
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Hello there,
My beloved Tom died in January 2022 - so about 2.5 years ago. So much has happened in that time - the early days and weeks were so hard I could scarcely breathe and grief worked on and through me, until finally I could crawl, then stand, then walk forward. We move forward, after huge loss, not on - there is a difference, I think and it is gentler and kinder. x
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I survived after loosing my 1st husband who died suddenly 7 years ago, i met my late partner almost 4 years ago and here i am again back at the start and the pain is worse because he chose to leave me x
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My dear - I can only imagine what you are going through - it’s really tough to be bereaved but to lose someone through suicide most be so, so , hard to bear. I looked up to see if help is available and these links may be useful -
Take care of yourself today - try not to think too far ahead, just the current day is enough to deal with. Keep posting, your friends on here have got you xx
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That is so kind of you to do this and i appreciate it. Im glad i found this page and all you wonderdul people who i can chat with xx
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we help each other, my friend, we walk together on this long road xx
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We absolutely do and i for 1 am glad im here with you all for support x
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Hugs to you too @Miamoo2017 ; you’ve been through a terrible time, and so very recently. Leave the jobs for now, and just look after yourself; rest is the best thing you can do for your body right now.
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Thank you for your kind reply x
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