What else

I just can’t believe what can happen in a year.
It was 14 months yesterday when I lost my husband suddenly and it that time I have had what seems like hundreds of things to deal with along with all the usual after loosing someone burst pipes, leaking shower, solar panels stopped working and now I have to prove I own them and the solicitor want £500 for a letter to say I own the property well he/ she can whistle. I had my roof pointed and scaffolders have done something to my sky which isn’t working but the roofer is onto it bless him he’s really been a god send .
All of this on top of supporting with grandkids and going to work when do we get a break haven’t we gone through enough .


OMG it never rains but it pours.Solicitors are a rip off.I am having to have builders in to cure leaks in my conservatory before the real winter sets in.I only have my pension now so it will be tough paying all the bills.My beautiful Judith passed away 5 weeks ago.Got her ashes yesterday,back home with me now.Michael.

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Mickeyboy31 it’s never easy and seems twice as hard doing it alone I just feel so vulnerable .
We have to prioritise everything but sometimes where do you start . I hope you get your roof fixed that’s why I had mine pointed before the bad weather comes take care karen x x x

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Hi yes they are doing a good job ,will be finished in a few days.Still feeling sick though and cannot really believe that she is gone and that I will never see her again,so hard to accept this.Michael.

Michael they say it gets easier but I have yet to experience that everyday is just confirmation that Rob isn’t coming home .
It doesn’t get easier for me I just find ways to do things differently not that I enjoy it.
Take care and keep talking I find it really helps xx


Silly questions but what do you do with the clothes etc? Myself n my kids each chose 2 items of clothing n we had teddies made out of his old shirts jumpers they are beautiful great comfort to cuddle at night when the mind wanders…
I can’t keep because it pains me to look at but I don’t wanna get rid its like booting him out…does anyone get me?.
Everything going wrong washing machine blew up then fridge then how do I get car insurance? Never done that before feel USELESS

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My wife’s wardrobe is rammed with her things,I cannot face even looking at them at the moment.Her Daughter will have to do that for me.The whole house is filled with her stuff.I cannor get her out of my mind nor do I want to.I also cannot cope when things go wrong I panic like hell and call for help as I am useless at diy. Michael.

It does not get easier,not for me anyway,I miss her more each day and the pain of losing her will never go away.I am always on this site reading all the stories and it is truly heartbreaking that we are all in the same boat ,this living hell of a life without the one who made it all worth while.Judith will not be coming home,yes I have her ashes here now on the settee with me ,I talk to her and cry for her ,hate this state to be in,so unhappy ,so lonely so tired of living this rotten life without her.Michael

Hi Rolo

It’s strange how everyone reacts differently to the loss of a spouse or partner.

Ian passed away nearly 20 weeks ago and all his clothes and possessions are exactly how and where he left them.
His wheelchair and a new pair of shoes are the only items I’ve got rid of as they were bought because of his illness and not because he wanted them.

In the future I’m going to have to make a decision about moving but until I can sort out Ian’s possessions, there is no chance of that. Strangely, I can’t have any pictures of Ian out as that would be too distressing for me. I couldn’t bear to see his smiling face and know that I will never see him again.

You have to do what feels right for you at that moment in time……

X Julie

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I also cannot be anywhere near Judith’s clothes at the moment,her wardrobe is rammed with stuff,no way can I deal with that.I would like to move to a flat that I could manage better than a large bungalow but the hassle of it all puts me off,I am 76 as well and do I want to do that now.Michael.

Rolo1969 that feeling of being useless is natural I get it ALL the time especially when things go wrong .
I had a cushion made out of the last t- shirt Rob wore plus it was his favourite. The rest of his clothes I donated to charities and he was a Buddhist and they believe their possessions go to charitable causes but like you the last two bags I just can’t do as it all seems so final and I’m not ready for that stage yet .
I get what you mean about feeling as if your turfing them out I find it so hard to get rid of anything that belonged to Rob so I just live with it take care and I hope this helps xxxx Karen xx

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I will never get rid of anything of my beautiful wife,her clothes will stay in her wardrobe and everything else will stay the same .I could not bear to do that.Michael.

Hi I get what you are saying I am in the same place. It is almost a year for me. We did the teddies, and mine sits on the bed. I still have a bag full of tablets, so spoke to the chemist and I am taking them down there tomorrow., that’s the first step. The next is the clothes. I know it will be hard, but I tell myself he doesn’t need them, I feel that it’s another step forward on this rotten journey.


I could not bear to touch Judith’s clothes ,they are sacred now.If her Daughter wants to have them I would be more than pleased.Michael.