What happens now?

I am still finding things difficult and wondering what the point is. I am 2 years in to this nightmare and I am struggling to come to terms with reality.
Not that I would admit it to anyone, or any where else.
The future is terrifying.
Has anyone any ideas for carrying on? What does a widow do? I dont want anyone else, I really dont want anyone else, but I am so lonely. When people leave me, or even when I’m with people. I miss our life together. I dont want to recreate it, but what do I want?

very sorry for the loss of your husband.all ive tried do is live like my partner Jayne is with me.and im not living just existing.set my self a goal of losing a little weight and doing a sky dive in my late partners name and memory.
Jayne was my world and achieving this would be great.so hopefully early spring I will reach my target. ive also had 2 tattoos dedicated to Jayne and having another on Monday.so I will at that point a total of 3 tattoos aimed at showing my love for my soulmate.i hope you can find ways to cope.
regards ian

I hope you enjoy it. I did a skydive for my husband last year, 15000 ft in Honiton, Devon. It was great.
I know what you mean about existing, where has real life gone?

ive never been in a plane and its because im doing this in Jaynes name and memory for charity that I know once I reach my target weight I will go through with my plan to sky dive .
thank you Carera not sure enjoy is the word going through my head.but I hope reach this goal.

I’m sure you’ll do it, as it means a lot to you.
The thought of jumping out of a plane had never crossed my mind before my husband died. I did it to raise charity and awareness for his hospice. It worked.
Also, it gives you some thing to concentrate on and aim for.

…I too often ask myself " what do i want…" referring to my future without my Richard…the answer is absolutely nothing, but my Richard back, i want the impossible…as we are all craving…

…I too often ask myself " what do i want…" referring to my future without my Richard…the answer is absolutely nothing, but my Richard back, and our healthy lives back, i want the impossible…


I know. I always thought myself sensible, with everything under control. I could sort anything out. That has all gone. I have no idea how to sort my life out now. Sorry, I wish i had some answers.

I understand so well the feelings you have. My husband died 16 months ago, and I am finding it more and more difficult to carry on. The loneliness is unbearable, and finding things to fill the days is so difficult. I try and follow the life we used to have, but everything is pointless without him by my side . I struggle with each day, from the first clenching of the stomach when I first wake and realise I’m on my own, through the endless empty hours. I have tried joining voluntery groups, but my self confidence is so low, it is frightening. I never used to be like this, but then I was secure in the knowledge I was loved, I had companionship, someone who cared how I felt, someone to share the days. I’m grieving as much for the life lost as for my darling man. The future is so bleak without him, but like you, I paint on the smile and pretend things are getting better. It does help to know we are not alone in our suffering.Take care

I’m so sorry Kaka,
You describe my life, my feelings and my loss so well. I too am terrified of the future. Its hard to describe to any one not in our position.
I too did a bit of volunteering but you still have to go home afterwards.
I have tried to carry on as usual but it really doesn’t work. You know all too well.
Thank you for your reply, like you said, there is some comfort in the knowledge that there are people out there who understand.
Thank you. Take care x