I lost my husband 4 years ago age 59 total surprise. We were on holiday when he wasn’t feeling well but we got home safe and sound. 2 weeks later he has appointment for hospital possible by pass needed. Operation Scheduled for bypass 4 weeks after the original holiday and never a day off work unwell. Operation done but doesn’t survive. How can this happen !! When your told Can’t see any problems by the medical people !! My heading is what I have learned is that after your bereavement everybody goes quiet. I myself have been guilty of that people I have known that lost a loved one you go to the funeral then don’t contact the person again. Wouldn’t it be nice if just out of the blue you got a text a message a letter from somebody just to say Hey I am thinking about you and just wanted to say Hi. So now when I know someone has lost a loved one I do that as I know I would appreciate that. That’s the lesson I have learned. I believe in the afterlife so thankfully that is something I hold on to keep me going. Sending loving thoughts to anybody that is struggling.
We used to have a friend who always said:
“If you can count your friends on one hand your a very lucky man. If you can count them on two hands, you’re a bloody fool!”
I think true. We can have many acquaintances but very few true friends. Apart from work colleagues, I have 3 girlie friends, who I see often and also one of my husband’s friends calls regularly. I think that’s about right. x
I forgot to mention the few wonderful friends I’ve met on this forum, albeit from a distance. Their daily chatter is most welcome. They know who they are…xx
I can relate to all your replies thank you. Life can bite you in the bum sometimes and it’s how we deal with that. Just be great if we didn’t lose the people you love. I am sounding a bit airy fairy now sorry everybody.
Hi Looby 19, I have been guilty of that same thing but I don’t think you totally understand grief until you have gone through it. I have been lucky to get to the age of 60 and still have both parents so apart from my grandparents who I lost in my mid to late 20s (all over 80) I had never lost anyone that was until my husband of 2yrs died February 29th aged just 64. I will never duck behind a car because I don’t know what to say or turn to look into a window in case I upset someone if I speak to them. People who have lost need people but they will never phone you, make arrangements to do things but you can keep calling, arranging to meet for coffee and through time they will start to call you back. Just keep trying to knock down that wall that we put up we will appreciate it.
Shona x