Closure?
Like many people in our position, in conversation, the word “closure” has been mentioned.
I don’t know what this means.
When you love someone for any length of time, that love doesn’t come to an end when you lose them. Isn’t grief our love for that person being expressed in a different way?
Some words are over used in our society, to me, closure is one of them. I just wondered what people think about this. I may be overthinking, Rose always said that about me, I miss those little things she used to notice. Now I don’t know what people notice. When you lose someone it isn’t just that they are gone, it is that everything they said, though and did, is no longer there. I find that is one of the hardest aspects of this, the emptiness. I don’t believe there can be “closure”.
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@Malc39200 . l think closure is suppose to mean that that chapter in your life is now closed.
But how can you close the door on the biggest part of your life that will be eternally in your thoughts. That person you spent decades living with. l can’t even close the door to my bedroom where he spent the last months of his life, to me that means lm shutting away him and my memories. NEVER!!
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Thanks, exactly how I feel.
Hi,
I feel the word closure has it’s place in other situations, but not with bereavement & grief. I agree with you, when you love someone you carry them in your heart, & when they pass, even when your heart is broken, they are still in our hearts, & with us in spirit.
The currency of love is heartache.
After my baby died, because it was so early in the pregnancy, when I tried to talk about him, my mom would say, “Forget about it, move on, get over it,” though I never got to see him smile, or call me mom, it broke my heart to loose him 
. Despite my mom’s attitude towards my baby, I would talk to him so often as I like, & on his anniversary, I go to our special place, which is the park I went when I first found out I was pregnant, & I write to him, I tell him how much I miss him, & love him. Because it was so early in the pregnancy when I lost him, he has no grave, in the conventional sense, I keep all his letters in a backpack I call his portable grave, wherever I go he comes with me.
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@Malc39200 I agree, closure sounds so final which I suppose it is with the death of a loved one but do we really want to aim for closure or is that just another word for acceptance? Closing the door on a chapter, I’d rather leave it ajar. X
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Hi Malc
I tend to agree with you. Closure has it’s place in some cases but certainly not when we have lost someone so important to us.
Your so right that love certainly doesn’t come to an end. I am four years along and can truly say that my husband is forever in my thoughts. Yet I lead a full life and continued with our interests. I have friends I meet with from time to time and walking friends that I walk with when out with my dogs. I am never short of someone to chat to and I am quite content as no point being otherwise. I can laugh and smile again but that love is constant and will remain so. So No I do not think that ‘closure’ is a word we can use where grief is concerned. I think I will grieve forever but I am learning to live around it.
Pat
xx
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“No closure” to me means that I didn’t get the chance to say all the things to my husband as he suddenly died. I’m not sure if this is the right term to use.
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Me too . No closure, everything seems empty.
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Hi Hazel
I knew I was going to lose my husband and I told him numerous times how much I loved him. I had that time but it is never enough when they have gone.
Pat
xx
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