What is wrong with me

I lost my soulmate of 44 years, childhood sweethearts 2 months ago, im terrified of living the rest of my life alone, how can i be thinking like this after 2 months??? Feel guilty but cant do the loneliness, i know myself and if i dont do something it will consume me. Is there something wrong with me emotionally, i cant describe the feeling when it comes on its overwhelming and its happening now which is why im posting


Hi @Lone23,

I am very sorry for loss and bid you a sad welcome to this forum.

First of all, be re-assured that there is nothing wrong with you emotionally.

Your grief is still very raw such a short time after your terrible loss. It is an incredibly difficult time, your emotions will be all over the place, your feelings of loss and loneliness intense, but possibly coming in waves. Everyone on this forum will understand exactly how ghastly you are feeling. While there are no answers, there is plenty of support and encouragement.

Have you been offered any bereavement counselling? You may find that of some help. Whatever, I would encourage you to keep posting how you are feeling to this forum. I think you may find it helpful. The folk here are excellent.

For the moment, do not expect too much of yourself, be kind and compassionate to yourself, eat a little if you can, get what sleep whenever you can. Maybe contact your GP and let them know that you are really struggling at the moment?

There is no beating about the bush. Bereavement is absolutely ghastly, especially this initial period.

My best wishes to you.


I too lost my wife 7 weeks ago and can only say I am feeling exactly how you are feeling right now
Like Jerry said mine comes in waves especially the morning
All I can say is you are not alone
Please keep being honest your post helped me as our loss and feelings are so similar


@Lone23 it is the worst time the first couple of months . So I feel for you . I had the most dreadful knot in my stomach and that is the fear and shock of losing the other half of yourself . I didn’t have counselling. It does seem to help a lot of people . I coped by keeping busy . There is no easy road for us all . I am at nearly 8 months . I am not as fearful now just ache for him . Drs helped . Please reach out to us on here anytime. You are certainly not alone on this forum

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Thank you to you all so much i am sure jerry is correct about the wonderful people on here, it does make me realise there are other people like me suffering the same torture which also makes me very sad that i wish i could help you all.

I have lost a mum a dad a sister a brother in law but 4 very different kinds of grief i have experienced, losing my wife is off the scale completely and i never ever in a million years thought i would be like this. I am normally quite a strong individual and can absorb most things life can throw at you and still continue with some normality, in fact the day my wife passed i was at work 6am the next morning as i believe thats what i needed to do for my own sanity but also what pushed me was the fact that my wife would have probably suggest i do the same, how i have functioned only god knows as i have remained working only having 1 day off for the funeral. In fact i have earned a promotion in the process but i do feel i have been inspired by my wifes sheer grit and determination to look life in the eye and just crack on in the same incredible way she did in her battle to stay with me and her children and Grandchildren.

I have amazing children and an unbreakable family which i love dearly but for me personally, I am alone and feel i need someone in my life that i can look after the way i did with my wife.

Thank you to all you amazing people

God Bless you all


I’m sorry for your loss. Please accept my condolences.
I lost my hubby in November 23.
Grief attacks us all differently. It seems to me that the one thing that everyone has in common is the feeling of loneliness.
My hubby worked nights. So the nights aren’t too bad. Come Friday night, that’s when it really hits, because he was home Friday, Saturday and Sunday nights.
Coming on here and just putting your feelings will help.

There is nothing wrong with you. Stay strong. You will get through this.

Hello Jol and everyone! You were so encouraging to me a short while ago when I lost my husband - even though expected, I still feel wretched and experience The Knot in the stomach! I cant cry (never have). so just over two months into grieving it still so raw! Funeral last week and family great, but surely things should be easing now? I am keeping busy but now finding finality and permanence setting in and also regrets! Is all this normal? I just dont seem to be adjusting to being a widow very well! sending love xx


Hi @Cynthonia,

I think that grief is a long and difficult, and at times unfathomably difficult journey. My feeling is that there is no destination as such, rather that we may get more adept at negotiating the path with the passage of time.

I wonder why it is that you think that there is a timetable as such, to which your feelings of grief should adhere? I suspect that you and your love were together for some time. Is it really the case that one can somehow shrug off your past life and don the coat of a “new” life with impunity, when what we are talking about is the loss of our loving partner and that associated life?

I suspect that you are (in a sense), doing just fine.

Be compassionate and forgiving towards yourself. Be cautious of “shoulds” and “oughts” and timetables and other peoples expectations.

Best wishes to you.



I don’t think adjusting to being a widow/widower is easy.
Grief affects everyone differently. No right or wrong way. No timetable as to when things should get easier. No timeline to when “you should move on”
Each day you get up is a bonus.
This is your life. It was your loved one. Don’t be hard on yourself. One day at a time

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Thankyou JerryH! Good advice!


Thank you so much!! feel bit better knowing this!

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