Hi Karen
I also picked up on my interests again which two of them I also did with my husband such as walking and gardening (I have two allotments + garden). I also continued with Yoga/aerobic/dance/gym. I have always been a busy person so I did give other things a go because I thought it was expected of me but soon found that I was overloading my time so I settled back to the things I loved to do the most. I have more than enough to keep me occupied now. I did also join a grief group but found that I didnāt really want to go after the first year. I think we have to take it slowly and things will drop into place for us as and when we are ready.
1 Like
Yesterday was my first shift back on my ward.
It was difficult but my friend looked after me and my ward manager and other colleagues were so very kind and supportive.
I know Ken would have been so proud of me xx
3 Likes
My youngest son, Louis (15 years old) died sometime in the night of 15th/16th Oct 2022. My wife and I found him in his room in the morning of Sunday. Neeldess to say, it was the worst shock of our lives. We discovered 10 days later that he died from a brain stem and cerebellar haemorrhage. It was totally unexpected.
Despite being desparately sad and feeling lost without Louis, we agreed that we must do our very best not to allow this tragedy to turn into multiple tragedies. We are grieving Louis deeply of course but we are also trying to live life at the same time. Thatās quite a robotic process as we are still quite numb and probably still in shock to an extent. And we still have days when we feel very low. But the guiding principle of ānot allowing our profound loss to turn into multiple tragediesā is helping to keep us strong generally (so far at least). Louis would want us to grieve his loss but he wouldnāt want us to suffer.
With best wishes to you all,
Jon
3 Likes
Hi Sheila
They say that time heals and few that start on their journey believe this. I canāt say it heals exactly but it does give us time to process what is happening to us and slowly we learn how to cope with our grief and find a life of sorts again. We sort of slot into a routine that suits us now. I am also much calmer and relaxed with life although inlike you I dislike shopping. I also quite iiked Covid and it certainly didnāt keep me indoors as I walked my dogs and still had the allotments but I didnāt feel pressured anymoe and it taught me to like my own garden again. Everyday is a learning curve and I find it better to go with the flow than try to force myself.
Pat
xx
2 Likes
I was thinking about getting a job but Iām 65 this May so doubt Iāll get a look in!
1 Like
No harm in giving it a go Johnch. Best of luck!
Thank you @Jon_dT Iāll let you know if I land one but donāt place any bets!
@Johnch Iām 75 and I swear half the workers I see in supermarkets look older than me!
@Mike75 That is funny, I canāt imagine me in a supermarket because I now hate people so it would have to be night time stacking shelves. Iād probably be asleep most of the time!
2 Likes
@Johnch If you hate people youād fit in well in our local supermarket 
3 Likes
@George4
That was quite a first and one to be very proud of. xxx
My husband also died of sepsis but he was in ICu for over a month which was purgatory for him as he couldnāt speak or make himself understood. My only consolation is that even if you survive sepsis the quality of life is very poor and nearly half of sepsis survivors donāt live another year. He was so fit and active - he would have hated being very disabled and dependent on others.
1 Like
You will find something.
I am 72 and still work 12 hours at week in my local hospital x
2 Likes
Thank you 
@KarenF Wishing you the best for your soup lunch. xx
1 Like
Today is my birthday, 7 weeks after my husband passed. He had been there for 46 of my birthdays. My children took me to our favourite restaurant for lunch. At first, I did not want to go, I thought it would be too difficult, I didnāt know how I would be, I didnāt want to break down in public I just wanted to be at home by myself, but the kids persuaded me and reluctantly I went. As we stepped into the restaurant the sun shone on our table, as if my darling was with me. I did have a few wobbles, but we shared lovely conversations and memories about their dad, and I even heard myself laugh. I know I have a long way to go, but today gave me hope for the future and certainty that my husband is here with me and willing me on. Love and hugs to all on this journey xxx
5 Likes
Birthday wishes with lots of love to you, @sandi.
What a comfort that your husband was with you to share your family meal; Iām sure it will mean so much to you.
2 Likes
@sandi that was such a huge new thing to do and it sounds as if you all handled it brilliantly. I applaud you for agreeing to go, even though you had reservations and Iām so pleased you could feel your husband with you.
xxx
1 Like
thank you both
1 Like
Today I tried African Drumming for the first time. What an experience!
16 ladies all keeping beat and rhythm - therapeutic, powerful and centering.
3 Likes