Thank you for accepting me into the group
I lost my wife to a brain tumour in April.
She was my rock, my everything really; never had much of a social life, we kept ourselves to ourselves. Now I’m cast adrift. The support from my kids has been fantastic, but they can’t be there when I get home to an empty house or when i switch off the lights at night.
Work is now all that keeps me sane
Massive guilt that I’m still around while she’s not
A very strong awareness that I’m just existing now for existence’s sake.
Hope this makes sense.
5 Likes
Hi @puddin
That makes perfect sense to all of us on here.
I think we all have felt, or do still feel like that.
The pain seems incessant and the missing is pure hell.
But we will pick ourselves up and carry on because that is what they would have wanted.
It is very hard though. It is like being on a rollercoaster, trying to go up, but then getting caught in a dip.
Eventually we will get to the top.
So keep posting on here.
We do understand, we are all going through it too.
This forum has got me through some very dark times
Sending hugs
X x
3 Likes
Sorry you qualify for this site, but glad you found us. I lost my husband nearly 14 weeks ago due to a sudden cardiac arrest.
We kept to ourselves mostly so not a huge pool of friends for support. We only needed each other.
As the weeks pass you start to get accustomed to the silence a little bit. And I don’t get the same punch in the stomach on waking. I still think of him almost every minute of the day but not constantly on the verge of tears. The evenings seem long, watching television on my own is not much fun, so I read until I am tired.
But it is getting a little bit easier some of the time.
Just got to keep plodding on. Xx
3 Likes
Thank you for your kind response but I come back to “Just keep plodding on”
Why?
1 Like
Mate,take it from me, the worst thing that could happen to you in this life has happened,nothing anyone can say or do can put it right.
The only thing we can do is grit our teeth and carry on surviving in the hope that our thoughts and reactions to this awful situation we find ourselves in become more bearable, nothing, from now on, will ever be as it was.
I am 18 months into this and have the occasional bearable day and hope that the bearable days become more frequent, during the bad days the horrific thoughts can overwhelm me and result in dark thoughts of giving up.
I won’t sugar coat anything when I talk to anyone who has been bereaved,sympathy is no cure for severe grief, you’ve got to keep on surviving in the hope that it gets more bearable, and it will.
Keep going mate.
7 Likes