What’s the point?
Ever since losing my Dad, things have gone from bad to worse. I don’t feel like there’s much point to life anymore. Everything feels so hopeless, I feel so hopeless, I just don’t know what to do. The one thing I want to do is speak to my Dad and have a bosie but I can’t do that so I’m here instead. It’s bad enough to lose the person you love and care about the most, but then life throws more shit and noise at you… how are we meant to cope without our lifeline?
Since losing Pops, there’s been a global pandemic stopping me from any chance at normality. My usual coping mechanisms like going to the gym or seeing my counsellor are gone. I’ve lost friends at a time I’ve needed my nearest and dearest. I’m now having to deal with threats and harassment from someone who doesn’t like me for nothing I’ve ever done to them. All because I sold my Dad’s bike to her Dad who was a friend of my Pops for a decent amount of money, and my now ex friend told her about it when I told her to keep it between us. I wasn’t even telling her about the money aspect, I was honestly so chuffed to see my Dads pride and joy go to someone I know he’d approve of and take care of it. That money was paying for my last year of university so something to make my Dad even more proud of a choice I was making without him. Selling it was the last big thing I had to really sort out and I was emotional with the whole process.
I don’t deserve this shit I’m getting. I try so hard to be a good person, I’ve spent the last 2 years studying Counselling to have a career in helping others. I’ve changed so many aspects of my behaviour, I don’t understand what I could’ve done so wrong to make my best friend fall out with me. She had no right to tell anyone my business, especially not this girl who is now threatening me to give the money back, calling me all sorts. We haven’t even spoken in years as she now lives 3 hours away. Being in a local lockdown at the moment means we can’t travel 5 miles yet others can still travel to where I’m from. I don’t need to be worrying about this madwoman. I just want to focus on trying to live this life as best I can without my amazing Dad in it. I always feel like I get two steps and then get pushed back 3. It feels like I’m on a constant wave of disappoint and heartache when I’m already trying to deal with the worst there is. The waves keep dragging me back down and it feels like I’m suffocating.
When does it get better? When does life seem worth it?
I’m struggling. It’s dark. I’m tired.
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Hello,
I am so sorry about what is happening to you. Before I joined this forum I read many posts for a few weeks, and reading about you and how much love you have for your dad echoed just how much my dad means to me. You were very unfortunate your dad left when you were still in your early 20s, that you did not have as much time as most others, grief can be at its worst when we feel injustice, like you probably do.
Sometimes people just like to gossip, maybe your best friend did not understand what the ramifications would be of her telling you sold the bike, but now it has damaged your friendship, and that is the last thing you needed. Are there other friends who can help you? When do you go back to university? Maybe things will get better when you are back at university?
I am sorry, I don’t have the answers.
Hi Watt,
Sounds like selling your dad’s bike was the right thing to do. When you get on your own out of school, if you ever want it back - buy it at that point.
Your friend’s dad probably did his research online and the price was likely a fair price between two adults who made a fair transaction. The dad probably loves it and is enjoying it. If not, he can sell it himself and likely get the exact same price.
Tell the harasser that it was a fair market price between two adults. Hopefully that will quell it.
Hope that helps maybe?
Be well,
Ell
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Sorry, my post should have said “mid 20s”, which is still too early to lose your dad.
Hi @Abdullah, thank you for your response. My friend circle has reduced drastically - normal as we get older. Since my Dad was so poorly for so long with it get progressively worse and worse, I suppose I kinda isolated myself because I had so much to deal with. Work, university, gym, and seeing my Dad was my life the last few years and last year I’d just made my peace with it. Heck, I started enjoying it. Then the worse thing to ever happen, happens… the thing of my nightmares. So no, I suppose you could say I don’t have much of a support system. My friend - I’d posted about her last as she was pissed I wasn’t there when her grandma who died due to me struggling with my own grief. She’s making me pay for that now by knowingly telling this person personal details and knowing full well what the repercussions of this would be.
Thank you for reading my posts. I’m glad they’ve helped people in some way. The love I have for my Dad is something I’ll never hide, I’m proud of it. I hope you feel the same.
Hi @EllDubs
Thanks for your help. The selling of the bike wasn’t my real issue - it was the threats and confrontation coming from the mans daughter. I’ve blocked her and didn’t bother responding. As my Dad used to say, ‘you can’t fight with stupid’. The lessons he taught me… I never realised at the time how valuable and just how bloody right he was.
Take care x