My partner died suddenly 18th March, I’m dealing with it the best I can. I’m very lucky to have a wonderful support group of close friends and family but the loneliness is devastating. I’ve been kept busy these last few weeks dealing with all the stuff that needs dealing with, but that’s all sorted now and I find the house is very big and empty. In the weeks prior to her death we had started to look at smaller properties and talked about downsizing. Obviously the property we required as a couple and what I now require as a single person are worlds apart, but I have found a property close to where our current house is that I think would be perfect for me. I have 40 years of very happy memories in our current home, my partner made it what it is, she loved keeping it clean, tidy and up to date and the garden is spectacular, my role was to carry out anything that required attention or repair and like everything in our life she would be by my side helping and advising. The flip side to this is that I don’t think I will be able to keep the place at the standard that it is currently at, and the garden in particular was totally her domain I haven’t got a clue where to start, and the lack of having my right hand girls encouragement and motivation weighs heavily on me to the point that I’m constantly asking myself if any of the tasks I’m carrying out would have been to her high standards. I hope this doesn’t make her sound like a nag because she most certainly wasn’t, we were a great team together in everything we did but other than the loneliness I’m finding it very difficult to carry on in the house despite the happy memories. I’ve talked about this possible move with a couple of people but they seem to be of the opinion that it’s too early to be making such a big decision? I would appreciate people’s thoughts?
Sorry for your loss, it probably is too early to think about moving yet but I understand how you feel. My partner kept the garden beautiful, worked really hard in it. I just don’t feel I can do it justice. I’ve had to get a gardener. The grass doesn’t look healthy this year and I feel I’m letting him down. I feel very vulnerable alone in the house and it will require some maintenance soon. I’m seven months into my grief journey but I feel it’s too soon to make any big decisions. You’re still in the very early stage of grief, everyone is different. It’s often accompanied by brain fog and irrational thinking. Don’t rush into making such a big decision. Take care.
I am sorry for your loss , we all played different roles in our relationship with our loved . Now there are gone it hard to adapt to our roles . Your relationship sounds very similar to one I had with my husband. I am ok with the household tasks . And I am ok with the garden which isn’t big and I can manage it . I have had to start mowing the lawn which I never done before. I have got my son to help me do any jobs I can’t do There are few people on here who are in the process of moving house . They can give you better advice than I can . Good Luck I hope everything works out for you .
Hi
I can only give you my experience, I moved house just under a year after my wife died,I did try to adapt to there just being me there,but I was seeing ghosts in every room, every corner even in the garden,the memories were haunting me,so I moved and I am content now.
I wish you the best of luck.
Hi Ed, l just read your very moving post. I understand that many people feel it’s too soon to move out, however, l think only you will know when that time is right, its different for everyone. In a way l now feel it time for me to move to a new home, l’m seriously considering this move, it will be difficult but l think necessary, but of course l’m much further on in grief journey.
My very best wishes to you. Lilly
Hello, I could never leave my home where we raised our children, there’s so many memories, of my husband, and its where I feel closer to him. I know the last post was many days ago but I just wanted to share. It’s only been 2 months for me 
Hello Mary, l felt similar to you 4 years ago, not now, time is a great healer. Your loss is so recent, its a difficult time you are going through. How are you coping? This site is full of amazingly wonderful kind people, unfortunately we all know what you are going through. Take care and my best wishes to you Lilly.
Well, just to update this I put the house on the market last week and accepted an offer from a lovely lady who is looking to retire to my part of the country, I actually had a better offer but she became very emotional while viewing the house and especially the garden despite not knowing that my partner had passed away, it just felt right that somebody so emotionally attached should have it. I’ve found a wonderful little place not far from where I am now which will suit me down to the ground. I have many fantastic memories from my time here and they will all come along with me and will always be right there in my head. Thanks all for the input.
Morning @Ed111
I wish you well with your move, and hope it works well for you. I am nearly 8 months into the grief journey. I can fully understand why people choose to move . Unfortunately my husband didn’t leave me well provided for financially. My solar panels help pay the bills. So I am not sure if I would be in a position financially to move . Hope you have the best day you can