What to do afterwards

At the time of a loved one passing and the days immediately afterwards , you are bombarded with family and friends all offering support , and saying things like “ you know where I am” “ I’m here for you anytime “ etc etc which is lovely. Now three weeks after the passing of my husband there not a mention of anything . So what do you do you don’t want to ask these wonderful supportive people if you can visit them, go for a walk or whatever. I am conscious they have their lives to live with their own family so you don’t take up their offer.
It’s very difficult to know what you really want because your world has been turned upside down . I suppose it’s finding that happy medium, my kids are a fantastic support ,but I don’t want them to think every week end they have to come and sit at my house ,or every time they plan an activity or outing they have to take me along . How do others manage this kind of thing

1 Like

I’m very sorry for your loss. I could have written the same words I lost Mick 6 months ago I talk to his photo and only last night I said to him where have all our friends gone. Like you my son and daughter are very good but I feel like an outsider where friends were concerned
Take care x


Yes it’s the same for me. People say I,m always here for you etc… but you don’t get the follow up of, I,m still here.
Some people haven’t contacted me at all since the funeral. My kids have been great but they have their own lives to live.
One friend offered her husband to do some jobs I can’t manage myself, I have not heard from them since lol.
You certainly find out who your friends are. Still we have to battle onwards x

1 Like

We certainly do have to battle on I think until it happens to you friends do not how to respond in person I have the odd texts messages stating we will pop by. I know lockdown has been awful and people couldn’t visit it came into force 2 days after Mick died but you would think friends would realise this and actually visit you now. I have had a friend of 30 years cross the street to avoid me I had to say you can speak to me, I think he felt bad he responded with I don’t know what to say and I will get upset talking about Mick how does he think I feel. I want people to talk to me about him.


I find the same, it is as if people imagine they may catch something,