What would she - he have done...

This is a question i keep putting to my Richard, i know he would have gotten on with his life after my death if it had been the other way around but, asking him what would he have done, how would my death affected him, well, i know he would still drive to the supermarkets to buy his foods, I know he would still dog walk our cocker spaniel, dog number 4 who was close to Richard but did not like me, so now re-homed in a larger bricks and mortar home ( due to my MS, walking a dog far, and lack of his car ) outside our parkhome site with another dog just like our dog number 3 who we lost 7 months after moving to here, Richards favourite dog, even if he would tell me all dogs were his favourites… ) would he still go to the garden centre buying his plants for the pots and containers, we were not allowed hanging baskets, something we always had back home, no i dont think he would have as he loved his pots and hanging baskets and our back garden back home always looked lovely with our pots of flowers and the hanging baskets front - back and to the sides…I cant see that Richard would have the zest continuing this for himself…

Think I know the answer what my roger would be like without me if I’d gone first his routine wouldn’t have changed much he would still have walked the dog walked up to get his paper each day getting himself a ready meal he loved those anyway he didnt cook much only basic meals like beans on toast and he would watch his telly and read his kindle, mind you the house would get a bit dusty and he might have a job sorting out the washing and think he would miss me but not as much as I miss him
I can tell by your posts that you and Richard were very close and it makes me so sad that your now on your own in a place you don’t like, may I ask why you and Richard moved there from the lovely house you seemed to have before
Take care sending you a hug xx Linda

Linda…
… i got diagnosed out of the blue 4 years ago April 11th with PP-MS at the age of 64, My Richard died last year 11th April, same date just 4 years later…I stupidly moved away from our house because of my MS diagnoses, could not manage getting into a bath, could not manage the stairs, plus i wanted at the time to get far away from my daughter with a drinks problem, although since my Richards death we have now bonded more, well i have told her she is all i have left and i dont want to lose her as well, so far so good, we are now becoming more mother and daughter, she is 50, and a grandmother herself, although we, she and my 31 year old grandson, plus my great grandson, i have yet to meet are 140 miles away, part why i want to get back home, plus this is now where my Richards ashes are, re: after i gave permission for his sister age 84 to arrange this, i felt i owed Richard this, he is now back home at his local crematorium along with his parents and brother, i told Richard i will do my utmost best to get back home and come and see him, pay my respects, also my parents are buried next county, i want to also tell my parents i am back home, back home where i belong,i also dont want to die here in Dorset like my Richard did…neither of us belong here…

I think my Richard would have coped better than me, he would have stuck to his routines…He could cook for himself, he might have had issues with the washing machine and dryer…he would have shopped as usual…washed up and dried up…But i know he would not have gone out to any places we once went to together, we never when we moved here guess mainly dto do with places i would have struggled with walking…but he still would not have gone to Stately Homes, Garden Shows, Craft Fairs- Country Shows by himself…Now for if we had stayed back home, he would have still gone to his evening indoor bowls team, gone to play golf with his couple of longstanding friends, met two of his longstanding friends once a week or fortnight for a beer and a chat always about Luton Football…

Hi, my Brian would have coped just fine. He could cook and look after the house as he had lived on his own for six years before we met. When his first wife was very ill and he had two small children he had to take time off work to look after them. He told me he had enjoyed being a ‘housewife’ and thought it was easy and wished he could have done it full time but it wasn’t done in those days the men went to work… Would probably had problems with the washing machine but he would have soon sorted it out. He liked his own space so wonder if he would have missed me at all Oh forgot hated ironing so might have just noticed I wasn’t around when his clothes needed ironing.
If I had gone first he would have sold this house and bought himself a boat to live on. He had owned boats and the river is about half a mile away and he had spent many years of his life with his small boats. He never made a big fuss about things just took things as they came.
xxx

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