I thought I should share this in case anyone else has a need for it. For many years I refused to get involved with using Whatsapp for a variety of reasons.

However, and sadly because of my partner’s death, I needed to communicate with my family (cousin, aunt) in Italy. My cousin pointed out I should use the app to make phone calls with rather than running up a huge phone bill that I cannot afford right now.

Well, it has really been a godsend and is saving me a packet. Plus, I can talk to my family twice or three times a day, which is invaluable.

Today, I met with the humanist celebrant who is going to manage the funeral next Sunday. He is a very nice and caring man and talking about Andrew brought back many happy memories.

Still, I am dreading the funeral and how I may react when it is my time to speak about Andrew. I fear I may break down. So far, I have not cried much but the floodgates may well open come next Sunday.

Also, I really do not know how I am going to feel after the funeral. Will I feel even worse?


I was in a similiar position about speaking at the funeral, so I got a friend to have a copy ready, so if I couldn’t cope on the day, she would step in for me. Sending you kind thoughts and the hope that there are moments of comfort for you on the day. Xxx

SSTC, sorry for your loss, it is indescribable really the pain of losing a loved one. I was meant to speak at my wife’s funeral but kept breaking down, the Chaplain had a copy of my words and he read them, don’t know if you could do the same thing? Since her passing I have struggled but as you know it’s such an individual feeling that I doubt anyone will know how you react. There are some beautiful posts here where people have managed to find some semblance of peace, I truly hope at some point you can find yours. Joe x

Hi @SSTC22, I’m so sorry for your loss. I found the funeral Directors and minister all very caring and helpful they will get you through the day. Our daughter spoke about her dad and knew she might struggle on the day so she pre-recorded her eulogy and it was played at the service. If you can’t get through what you want to say I’m sure you celebrant will take over as Joe suggested.
I discovered WhatsApps, when I got a smartphone for the first time, our family group chats have kept me sane over the last few months since my husband died. When your down someone, usually my son in law will post something really silly that makes me smile. It is also easier to talk to my friend in America.

I didn’t cry much in the early days, there is so much going on at first, admin, funeral arrangements, it was after the funeral when people started drifting away and the realisation this is my life now he’s not coming back, that when the tears came.
I didn’t discover this forum until 11 months had passed, I wish I had found it sooner, everyone on here is so supportive so keep reaching out.
Sending love Debbie X

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