I lost my son on 16th June 2019. He was only 27 and had been fighting cancer for almost 4 years before he died. Even though we were expecting it, I’m still finding it hard to believe my boy is gone. Ever since he has died I don’t “feel”. I’m numb, when does this fade? When will I feel again?
Hi TM1…I am so very sorry for your loss, I know the feeling of numbness to well,I lost my son in December 2017 so it’s practically two years… I think it’s the numb feeling that actually helps you to cope in the first few months…to lose a child part of you dies with them so you are never that same person again…in time it will get slightly easier to accept but they are always at the forefront of your mind,there is never a day or hour goes by when I don’t think of my son, sometimes with tears and sometimes with smiles and I talk and mention his name just like I do my other son he was is and always will be a massive part of our family…It’s hard but it does get easier…I am eternally grateful we had our son Christian in our lives though I wish it had been forever.
My love and thoughts are with you…Marina xxx
Hi Marina… Thankyou for your reply. I’m new to the forum and couldn’t believe when I started to read that my feelings are “normal”. I have family and friends to talk to but know one really knows. People keep saying to me I can’t imagine how you feel. I never thought it would feel like this, I don’t know what I expected but it’s not this. It physically hurts. I’m so sorry you’ve also lost a son. I’m still at the " it’s not fair" stage… … But it’s not fair.
TM1 xxx
You are so right…It’s not fair,the times I have said that and I will be saying it until the day I die…
Though it helps to come on this forum and be able to express your feelings with others who are going through the same loss xxx
Hi. I am Kate. We lost our younger daughter Lisa aged 31 on 25th July. I am new to these feelings too. Our girl was amazing. She had a long term lung condition but carried with her life and career as a wedding florist and was an amazing Mummy and partner. She took ill on the way home from a holiday in Majorca. Picked up a virus and ended up with respiratory distress syndrome and spend 54 days on ECMO. They couldn’t save her though. We are grateful for the time this form of life support gave us with her as she was able to see us all every day and chat and eat a little and hope that she would get better. Sadly infections set in and it wasnt to be. We are now approaching 15 weeks since she passed. I have had some good days but cry a lot and like you feel really ‘flat’. Its like we have nowhere to go or nothing to look forward to. Our granddaughter keeps us upbeat when we are with her but then we plummet again when shes away home. I don’t really know what to expect. I have had a few bad days recently not helped by trying to kick a virus into touch. I miss my child so much it’s a physical ache. I am sure you will feel this too. It’s all so wrong. The order of things.
My heart and love go out to you and all the lovely parents who have shared their grief on this site.
Keep on posting. We are all helping each other.
Kate zz