Lost my Mum in July and I feel like a shell of a man since. She’s all I ever had, no dad no brothers and sisters. Life is not the same, feel like I never will be. When does the sadness end, when does it get easier. Because all I feel is lost living day to day wondering when I’m going to wake up from this nightmare. I lost my mum, my best friend and my world all in one day
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Hi JP,
Everyone is different in how long it takes but for me it’s a year and i still grieving terribly for my mum. I cry almost every day but am able to control it better now than in the beginning. I have found it very difficult to get through losing her.
Just take each day as it comes and plan small steps for each day.
Keep posting on this site because it has been a lifeline for me. There are so many lovely people on here who will offer you support
Keep strong ok
Deborah x
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hello jp, my heart goes out to you. i feel like an orphan since my mum left in october. once the loss sank in, i’ve never felt such utter loneliness. my own mortality has been on my mind as i’m not so removed from death as the presence of my mum used to lead me to believe. we’re on our own now. it reminds me of a passage in pasternaks novel doctor zhivago, ‘… and so it turned out that only a life similar to the life of those around us, merging with it without a ripple, is genuine life, and that an unshared happiness is not happiness…’
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Hi @_JP I hear your pain… loss of a much loved Mum is a devastating heartbreak. Since my Mum’s death in January I have been weighed down by sadness, even though I try my best to keep going. I think over time the grief changes and gradually becomes a numb acceptance. I’m still trying to manage the sorrow that comes with missing my Mum everyday. All we can do is to keep moving forward. Best wishes xx
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Hi Rosiepink,
Aww I remember you posting last Jan as my own mum had just passed away at the end of Dec. How true your words are. Yes it’s a numb feeling and the sadness is always there.
It’s tough going isn’t it. Coming to terms or accepting they have really really gone is so hard.
I also try to keep going and the journey of keeping going is very difficult at times but I realise we have to carry on somehow. I still cry a lot and many times each week something will overwhelm me and i sob my heart out.
The feelings of guilt I had over small things has changed slightly and I know try to train my mind to realise I did do everything I could at the time. I feel that’s a big change as I had such guilty feelings of calling an ambulance for her and wondered if I hadn’t would she still be here.
How are you coping for Christmas? Again it’s heartbreaking because they are not here but if what could have been and the memories of last Christmas days. We just have to let the day pass and cope as best we can.
Thinking of you
Deborah x
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Hi @seychelles I have been having a pretty grim time lately to be honest…
I’m still trying to settle my Mum’s estate as the sale of her house fell through after seven months of intolerable delays. I’ve felt beside myself with sadness and stress. I can’t bear to even go to the empty house anymore. Christmas has brought huge nostalgia and made the loss even harder to bear. I have gone through the motions as I have a teenage son, plus some kind relatives have invited us to share the actual day. What a year of sorrow it has been! I hope you are finding ways to cope. I’m steeling myself for a rough few months because after Christmas I will have my Mum’s birthday and then the first anniversary of the start of this heartbreak. I have hope that things might get easier then… Best wishes to you, keep going! Xx
Hi Rosepink,
I know what you mean . My mums first anniversary is Dec 30th so i am braving myself also. I accepted an offer on mums house today and i know its so stressful isnt it. I am finding it so difficult to part with it. When i remove her furniture i will be a mess
Thnking of you and keep in touch
Deborah x
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@_JP I am nearly at the first year of my mums anniversary (29th Dec) and the pain is still raw. My mum was all I had she was a single parent and I have been lost without her this last year my son is the same as she was our security blanket. I can’t say it’s going to get easier just take a day at a time and it’s even worse this time of the year.
@seychelles @Rosiepink I remember your posts as we were all around the same time. Sending hugs to everyone it’s not the same without them
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@Valda sending you hugs of consolation… It’s been a tough year no doubt but we’ve survived because it’s all we can do. Just keep on going…
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Hi Valda,
Yes I remember you now. There were quite a few of us who lost their mums around Dec and Jan last year. How have we survived a year without them. How has a year gone already?
I know we have survived but omg its been tough and I have struggled so much even with the smallest of things. As Valda said we just have to keep going but its hard.
Thinking of you and will do on the29th.
Deborah x
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@seychelles I know I don’t know where the time has gone but it still feels like yesterday. It’s been a difficult one and dreading festive break just want it over with. Take care and everyone else on here xx
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Me too. The sooner its over the better.
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