When everyone has forgotten

My Mum died on 1stDec 2020 after a 12yr battle with Parkinsons. It was a very traumatic death as from the nurses calling me to say she was dying until she died was 10 days of no food or fluids, I still have nightmares now about those hours sat by her bed wondering if this breath would be the last. Of course because of covid we didn’t get a normal funeral and no wake. I tried to organise a memorial with all her friends just before the first anniversary,but it got cancelled due to to snow and power cuts.In the beginning I got a lot of support, but I feel now that I am alone in my grief, no one even talks about her anymore. I would just like some chat about memories, happy or sad. I still have my Dad but he has his own health problems and won’t talk about my Mum at all. None of my friends have lost a parent, and they just make me feel that I should have moved on by now and that it shouldn’t be affecting me anymore. But I miss her every day and she is the first person I would call with news, or questions or advice. I know there is no answer just hoping to vent with people who understand x

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I do understand. I lost my mother five years ago and it is no time at all. Not when it is your loving parent.

It is very hard because moms and dads are the ones who really do care … it is tough.

You are not alone in your feelings. I am sorry your father will not talk. Love him though I know it is hard.

I sympathize!

Tell me about your mum Kate. I will listen. I know how it feels when you need to talk about a loved one. It keeps them alive and close to you x

Thank you for your kind words. My Mum was such a force of nature and lived a very full life, young people were her passion and she spent 3 years teaching in Afirca in her 20s before returning to the UK to carry on teaching English and drama in secondary schools. The Girl Guides was a big part of her life as well. Even after her PD diagnosis she didn’t let it stop her and for the first 10yrs she carried on doing the things that she loved. It was only the last 2yrs when her mobility decreased significantly and dementia started to take hold, that she slowed down.
I miss our chats and her advice, I still find myself reaching for the phone to discuss something with her before I remember I can’t, so I just try to imagine what she would say if she was still here.

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It’s so hard. Your mum has done a lot with her life. I can understand you wanting to phone for advice and then realising she is not there. I miss my mums advice too. I could really do with her being her right now. My husband died ten months ago and she would have been a wonderful support. Take care x