Hello I feel I have been grieving for nearly 2 years since my mum was diagnosed and sadly passed away. I am so tired of feeling sad, scared and joyless and I want to be me again without the fear of losing another loved one. I really really miss her but I can’t go on like this anymore. I want to look at photos not can’t and can’t talk about her. I just want to get on with my life for once, has anyone else felt/feeling this?
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Hi Paula
It’s 3 and a half years next week since my mum suddenly died and this is definitely the first year that I’ve started to enjoy life again and feel a bit more like my old self.
It takes time and 2 years is still a short time. I still miss my mum dreadfully and I still can’t have any photos around or even bear to look at them, so that aspect hasn’t changed. I still can’t even really talk about her either without getting upset. So I don’t think what you’re feeling is unusual at all.
The void never goes but the rawness of it all does fade.
Cheryl
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Hello Cheryl thank you makes me feel a little bit better I’m not the only one. I have still kept the photo away and I can’t talk about her to do with anything because it hurts. That’s what I want to feel my old self. My family really want me back. I wake up and it’s the first thought which doesn’t help my mornings. Just so hard.
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Absolutely, I’m meant to be doing job applications rn but just paralysed with grief. I’m going to start now, because that’s what he would have wanted - for me to focus on myself and my happiness and live my life well. I find it easier on days like this to live for the ones I’ve lost
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Hi yeah for over 6 years since I lost my mum( and I never like to use the word died)I haven’t been the person I used to be full of happiness, looking forward to the future with hope I doubt I ever will be myself again but I’ve somehow built up the confidence to have some sort of a Christmas. I started couole of weeks by getting the courage to walk into the range and buy a Christmas tree. God did it hurt it still hurts so so much to look at it and think of my mum and miss her not being here at this time of year.
What had helped is a very special little my partner’s granddaughter looking in her eyes and realising Christmas is about children it gave me the confidence to have a Christmas.
So you face Christmas if you can. I’m not letting my grief dictate to me how I should feel this year and if I can face 2023 the same way then I’ll make my mum proud
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You will make your mum proud and you can be proud of yourself too. Buying the tree and facing all the Yo Ho Ho is not easy for you, but you did it regardless. No small thing when you are grieving. I’m telling myself to keep on keeping on. I can’t see any other way when things feel dark. Christmas will come and go and we will survive it. We’ve come this far. Sending you hugs xxxx
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Thank you for your kind remarks. Yeah we certainly have come this far.
I never imagined in my entire life how grief of losing my mum would affect me the way it has for the last 6 years. It’s only when you say to yourself the time has come to not let grief control and dictate your life. It’s the hardest thing to get your life back under some sort of control. That isn’t to say I don’t still feel the agonising pain and torture of grief I do everyday. There’s a massive hole in my life without my mum but there’s a very special little girl aged 3 who makes my life worthwhile. Merry Christmas to you and everyone on here
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Exactly Steven
Im miserable without my mum but im also fed up of the grief stopping me from having a nice time too. I stopped acting miserable for my daughter and its what my mum would want as well.
I hope you manage to have a better xmas this year.
Cheryl
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Hi everyone, my brother and I lost our mother in October 2006 and we decided 6 months later to get out more. We drove around the countryside (East of England, Southeast England, The East Midlands and parts of London) visitng manor houses, wind mills and anything else we could find. - (We were members of the National Trust, English Heritage and Kentwell Hall in Suffolk.)
Should you live in or near Suffolk, you could go to one of Kentwell Hall’s special Tudor events during spring and summer. I promise, you will forget all your problems, we did. It feels as if you have gone back in time. - I wish my brother and I could still go there, but he died of a sudden heart attack in February 2022. - Nick
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These messages are helpful. That’s how I feel I’m so tired of feeling miserable. I have a wonderful husband who desperately wants his wife back and my daughter wants her mum back too. And that’s the hardest thing I know nothing can change things so why am I staying in this horrible dark cloud xxx
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