When will it stop hurting so much?

It’s been a year since my son died in my arms and I thought I was getting stronger. Tonight it feels like it had just happened and I can’t stop crying. It just hurts as much as the night it happened.

Hi. Stephanie. Since there has been no response yet to your post I hope you won’t mind me answering. I rarely respond to’ losing a child’ posts because I have no experience of it and I can only imagine the pain.
A year is not long. Memories don’t often die down that quickly. The mind can play some awful tricks with memory. There is no way we can stop it occurring, so can you accept the feelings and emotions as normal in the circumstances? The emotions of grief vary so much from person to person.
You are getting stronger so take this time as a ‘blip’ in your recovery. It’s a setback. Of course you will never forget, but some little peace may come to you if you accept how you feel. Take care and Blessings to you.

1 Like

My daughter died suddenly almost two years ago and things are getting easier. I do not spend my days crying and feeling there was nothing worth living for. I still miss her and have the occasional cry. At night when I go to bed I look for a star and I tell it about my day, as if I was chatting to my daughter. I had a photo of her etched onto a pendant necklace and I feel closer to her wearing it. Things will get easier, you will find that you are remembering good times more than that dreadful day. My thoughts are with you.

Firstly and more importantly I send my condolences to you.
They say time heals and I have four children of my own and the very thought of losing a child is devastating.
In time your pain will slowly numb.
My advice to you is that everyone is different and there is no time to say ok it is time to stop grieving as it is personal.
But all I can advise is that you take each day as it comes until the pain eases. And one day it will.

Your comments resonate with me . Nick , my 17 year old , died suddenly in August 2015. I think about him all the time, I talk to him all the time too, telling him what I’m doing and thinking , what worries me , what my plans are . He’s not here, but he is , I’m sure about that . I recently had an N tattoo on my shoulder , bit like you with your pendant , and it’s a great comfort , reminds me that he is around , just not here , and that I’ll be with him again , one day . Life’s a struggle , but we have to keep going , don’t we .

1 Like

At night when I go to bed I look for a star and then tell it what I have been doing and thinking and feel I am chatting to my daughter.

Hi how are you today
Sorry for your loss I lost my daughter 2 years ago and the pain is very much with me. I have stopped expecting it to go away but it is easier on occasions. Life will never be the same and sometimes depression gets me down I think about her many times daily.

That’s a lovely thing to do .

I lost my son two years this December and my feelings are exactly the same as yours…I’ve resided myself to the fact that this will be my life from now on and that makes it easier for me to cope with…Take care xx

Thanks for your reply. I am so sorry for your loss. Knowing other people understand what I am going through dies help. I sometimes feel I am going mad with the grief. I am taking it hour by hour. Take care. X

Sincere condolences for the loss of your precious. They always will be. 2007 l lost a baby and never imagined l would ever overcome the pain. It does get more bearable and it will heal. Never fight the feelings as they are the actual processes of mourning. A range of emotions will surface. Sending you prayers

Hello
I’m sorry for your loss.
I lost my son 2 years ago and the pain is awful.
I put on a smiling face so know one knows and keep the pain in side of me…
Does it get better?
Mumjoan

Back to top