I did not see things this way before: all the support and capacity I have was always there. I did not make those choices for another person. And that person made choices and it makes no sense because for me that isn’t a choice but for them it was. That’s just the difference between us not a defining Truth of me or my relationship. I’m in orbit and he was too but I’m in charge of my vessel still. I choose to be here with Peppy and what I have which is a lot relatively. Now I sail our ship. I called it the SS MISERY last year but we got a new christening with a shiney plaque. The Blue Star. New waders and a new slicker and New horizons.