It’s so strange. Everything is there. All of the pain. All of the longing for everything to be normal again. To have my precious wife back again. And that nagging feeling of loneliness every time I walk through that door where everything that mattered to me was always waiting for my return. My purpose for living is no longer here but for some reason, I can’t cry. I so want to move on from the pain. Perhaps I’m trying to hard. Trying to force myself to move on before I’m actually ready.
This is such a confusing and yes, incredibly tiring journey that we all must face. Perhaps one year just isn’t long enough to grieve the loss of my other half. The half that brought me so much joy. The half that made life bearable. The half that made me whole.
I’m not giving up on my quest for peace. There has to be an answer somewhere. Perhaps that answer is simply the passing of time. But somehow I think we have to make peace with the change. We have to somehow find a way to find a purpose in life again. We’re not selfish when we try to find some kind of normal. We’re just searching . . .
Thanks once again for listening.
