Where are you Mum

Losing a parent
1

I know you are gone

But I am lost. Where are you Mum where have you gone?? My phone no longer rings. I receive no more texts. It’s just the loneliest feeling
I am a grown up. In my 50’s. I sat with you for the 6 days you were ill. I wished and fought with medical staff for your swift & peaceful passing. But now I find myself wondering. Where are you??

I am list and all alone. I want to tell the world how great you were. But everyone around me is awkward

I can’t fully weep. Not yet. Yes the tears come. But I’m numb

How do I say goodbye to the woman who raised & taught me all that I know??

2

Hi Justine, you are not alone. I lost my Mum suddenly 8 weeks ago to pneumonia and a massive heart attack in hospital. I long for so much, mostly to tell my Mum how much she meant to me. That, I loved her.
I’m in my 50’s too. Tears come for my Mum, but twenty years ago when my Dad died I hardy cried, but still grieved him.
The loss is huge and I’m felling the raw pain both day and night. I’m still in shock and some sort of denial. I know she was gone, but it’s going to take a long time for me to comprehend and adjust to it.
I don’t feel it is truly goodbye to my Mum, as I will always talk about her and have memories.

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3

Ah this hits the nail on the head :two_hearts:

I too am a “grown up” well…30 and I miss my mum so much. I miss the little things…I would txt her asking how long to cook a roast chicken, I would ring her on the way home from work and in general, just annoy her lol. Now I’m lonely and literally winging my way through life with no guidance at all

Big hugs to you xxxx

4

I am so sorry for your loss.

I know my anger at the hospital is misdirected. I’m just a little stuck at the moment xx
Many thanks for your reply xx
Love Justine xx

5

Dear Daffy

I am so sorry for your loss

But yes I get it. I totally understand. We are grown ups. We are supposed to know our parents will go before us. But my god it is hard xx

I know she has gone. I watched her die. I have planned and arranged her funeral. Yet I can’t quite grasp it.
I had to go out today. Shopping for a funeral outfit. Which I have left in the car. Some how if I bring it indoors it will seem real. Yet I know that it is

My brother, son and I had a meeting with officiant today. I heard my only child ( 31 so a grown up). Recite the words he has planned for Grammas funeral. Yet I do not believe it to be true. Where is she?? Where has my mum gone ?? I just don’t know xx
I really hope you are having a better evening than I am. Tonight is a struggle xx

6

Hi Tasha

Yes it is the little things we will miss

My mums cooking was something we laughed about. But now I will miss it always xx

7

I’m 45 and just lost my mum. I know it’s the order of things and I have friends and there are people on here who could only wish they had their dear mums for that long. But it is still bloody hard. Such a huge gaping hole that never heals

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Hi Justine, I know my mum is gone too. I know this and yet there is still ongoing disbelief and deep sadness that hit me on a regular basis. You can tell all of us how great your mum was, nobody here is awkward, I love reading about all these wonderful people that meant so much to us. I lost my mum 13 weeks ago suddenly while on holiday with my family. Yes I have family but that doesn’t stop the feeling of loneliness from time to time.
I have my mum’s mobile, the one I gave her just 3 months before she died. Now I look at it and remember all the messages we exchanged on a daily basis. The messages are still on my and her phone and it’s so weird to read them all, so normal, no warning of what was to come. I can see her phone so I know I’m not going to get any more messages from her and that’s very hard to bear.
We owe our mums so much and would have spent our entire life with them up until now and know no other time when they didn’t exist. That makes it hard to function without them. I have said goodbye in one sense but not completely because I hold her within me. She created me and so she is part of me and I shall always love her with all my heart. I don’t shed so many tears now but now I mainly have a deep sorrow that cuts into me every day and sometimes I don’t think I can bear it

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