Where has my home gone?

I need to know if anyone else feels like or have felt like this at any time and are there any answers!!

I moved in with my then partner, Martin, in to his house. During that time we married, started our own business, had many plans for the future and most importantly, turned the shared house into a loving comfortable home. Martin worked away on some occasions and he would always comment how the best part was coming home.

Although a lot of the decorating, furniture choices were mine …… but always with Martins blessing, I am failing to connect to house.

The house is safe, the neighbours are great and supportive and I know how the house works!! But it’s just a shell.

I don’t know how to turn this around.
Any advice

Dee xxxx


Dee, sorry for you. Like you we have a lovely home which is a family loving home but when my soulmate had to go the home/house seemed totally empty and I tried to change one or
two things but it didn’t change that empty feeling. I went away that first Christmas and returned to the same empty feeling so I went to the local cat rescue and spent time looking but nothing, then the manager said there was just one but not sure because she has problems. Yes, she is now my problem and that home is now a home. There is always something to welcome me home and ok she rules me but I let her. It’s just a thought, dog, cat or alpaca what ever it takes.:joy: S xx

Dear Dee
My only advice is wait until you are ready to take life changing decisions!! There is nothing that says that you have to stay where you are - on the other hand in a couple months/ years you may feel different
Just take time !!
Sadie x

1 Like

I totally understand. My husband died recently. Our house is an empty space with no meaning. I have no idea how to breathe life back into it. I just walk from room to room feeling lost. Suggestions or thoughts would be good if anyone has any, thanks x

Hi, the house decor was all my choice & everything is made suitable for my slight mobility issue ( handrails /wet room etc. It will be first Anniversary of my husband passing in 5th December. I often feel the urge to move away from the “ emptiness” The only thing that stops me is my husband loved gardening especially a small rose garden where I scattered some of his ashes on his birthday. This is the only reason I’m staying here. I don’t know how long for as something deep inside me wants to move away. This house was “ ours” and doesn’t feel right on my own. It’s a bungalow we moved to for my mobility & my husband never quite liked it as much as me. This also makes me think I should move. Someone once said to make no big decisions for at least a year. Guess we will know one day how we really feel but this isn’t really “ home” anymore without his presence. I know if it wasn’t for my rescue dog I’d seriously be looking for somewhere else. :woman_shrugging:Would I feel any less heartache with a move? Don’t think that’s even possible but maybe less reminders :thinking:Anyone else thinking of moving ? :broken_heart:

Your house like my house will never be the same,just a place to live ,no interest,nothing without the one who made you feel alive and happy.I don’t know the answer ,how do you turn your life around after this traumatic event.Cancer stage 4 took my beautiful wife in just a few months due to Covid shutting down all cancer treatments.She may have had a chance if the scan had been done on time but was cancelled for months on end.Now my life is empty,alone every day now.Michael.


You can’t turn your life around - all we can do is to put one foot in front of the other - it is needed time and patience!
Just be kind to yourself
Jack was a very healthy man until we found out that he was very ill man -,stage IV cancer and in 4 months he died
Life will never be the same , I will never be the same - all so sad
Look after yourself


Very similar story Judith was stage 4 bladder cancer with complications,2 major ops and then loads of chemo but it still came back to get her in the end,all that suffering for nothing.My life will never be the same as you say,unhappy lonely life ahead for me at 76.Michael.