I have been staggering around in a state of shock and disbelief after losing my husband. He had a cardiac arrest in bed next to me. I am just at the start of the Sadmin nightmare.
The postman came again today, bearing yet more work. In amongst the envelopes was a miserable looking official envelope. It was the Grant of Probate, well, three copies - just in case I didn’t get the hint from the first one.
So, why do we need it? I already have a Will, death certificate, Lasting Power of Attorney. It just seems like an expensive, slow process designed to add an extra set of obstacles.
I now have the horror of deleting my husband, bit by bit, one institution at a time.
Apparently, I send each of them an official copy, they send back a form for me to fill in and send back to them, they send back the Grant of Probate. And if I am very lucky they release the contents of his ISA. Then I can look for a bank that does APS ISAs. Then I write to them, they send forms, I send Grant of Probate. They contact original bank to ascertain that he held an account with them. Then they send me more forms to fill in.
They lost me the second time they said ‘form’.
He liked messing around with bank accounts,
there are five of them to sort out. I do not like messing around with bank accounts.
I feel like going out and buying a piggy bank.
It sounds as if I am going to be minted. This is not the case. He just liked the challenge of closing and opening accounts. He knew it drove me insane, he just didn’t know that I would have to sort out the tangle so soon.
To make it even more complicated he opened new ISAs at the start of the financial year, awaiting paperwork. Then he died 3 weeks later.
I call that rude.
That all sounds very complicated. I just walked into the bank with a copy of the death certificate, his will and some ID, asked for the money in his accounts to be transferred to our joint account (which I still use for household bills) and they did it all there and then. I did it before the Grant of Probate and they were fine about it.
You poor soul. I didn’t need probate for my husbands isa. As I have said before I was lucky to have a financial advisor who arranged the transfer into my isa. The company didn’t require probate. Not all do.
When my husband became terminal we had just taken out annuities which we could cancel as I would get a better deal on my own. He arranged all of this even cancelling all of his meetings for a day to drive ti get my husbands signature in hospital. Then to me for my signature and to check my finances then to the annuity company. He drove from ascot to Yeovil to Crewkerne and the to annuity company to ensure we met the deadline. He then found me a really good annuity. What I didn’t realise is that under current tax rules I don’t pay tax on the income from the annuity bought with my husbands pension.
He also provided a chart to show when I might run out of money. The good news from that is I will be long dead by the time the money runs out but of course this will never compensate for the loss of my husband. I would rather live in total poverty with him.
I think I would have liked your husband.
I loved him to bits.
It’s my fault really, I never took any interest in finances, computers or electronics. He loved gadgets.
I am paying the price now.
Like Pudding, I would happily live in a garden shed with just the clothes I am standing up in if he was here to share it with.
I still think he was a bit rude leaving me with all this mess!
There will be more very naughty words in my journal to him tonight.
Xx
Same. In the last 10 months I’ve had to cope with getting a log supplier, log-chopping people, someone to sort out the electric radiators (which could only be activated from an app on his locked, passworded iPad! duh!), window cleaners, lawn-mowing-men, and now builders (roof leak which he kept putting off getting mended) and a tree surgeon. Not to mention the skip. The DIY tool-forest. And a model train layout still attached to the spare bedroom wall. He was - and still is - my whole world. There will never be anyone else. But I’d have liked time to grieve, too. It’s just been bouncing from one problem to the next.
I have had a nightmare trying to sort stuff out.
He did it so I find it all so complicated still. Building society a nightmare telling me the wrong information. I had to keep repeating things.
I had to complain because I was so upset by their behaviour. Then utility companies mistakes.
Times things went wrong. People not turning up when appointments made. Things just being so complex. Perhaps I am just stupid
You just made me smile Willow,you have almost just described me (except the diy) Lesley would have had no idea,she would have had to have got our grandson down to sort it.
No, of course you’re not. These things are complicated, and you have to do them whilst grieving, which is really hard. 10 months on I still find it difficult even concentrating on reading a book, let alone dealing with complex stuff.
Well as for asking sons to help well they will go so far only. Asked grandsons to read small writing too tiny even with specs on. They only 11 and 9! So most packets with minute instructions for them.
My son is autistic so he can only do so much mainly I.T. other son very busy at work and very limited time and understanding of more conplex things.
My husband died June 23. I used to be an avid reader getting through a book in a couple of days. Since his death I have managed to read 2 books. Brain fog still with me to a certain extent.
I know; just so hard to concentrate on anything.