who am I now

saw this heading on a post and it exactly sums up how a I feel. After 48 years together, we were equal parts of the same person, and I feel my husband has taken a bit of me with him. Thinking about counselling, not sure it will help, anyone with any experience of it?

Hi wirry, I didn’t think I needed counselling, never thought it would be for me but my grief seems to be getting worse not better with time so I thought I would give it a go. Tried Cruse, well, that was a waste of time. Said it would be weeks if not months before I could see anyone. I go to the local Hospice for group sessions but they only last 45 minutes and I personally don’t find they help me. Might ask them if they have anything else on offer. I will give anything a go if I can get rid of this horrible feeling inside of me. I too feel as if I am not myself. Wondering if I will ever come back again. My daughter said this week, that I am the strongest person she know’s and I will come through it, but I am wondering, it has knocked me sidewards. I think others have managed to get counselling and it has helped so give it a try, nothing to lose. Best of luck Pat xxxx

Dear Wirry, that heading sums up how I feel too and my husband and I were together for 47 years. Feels like my lifetime. As to counselling, I know someone who found one to one counselling helpful after the loss of a child and I’ve found it very positive in dealing with a distressing family situation. The difficulty is finding the right counsellor. I’d suggest looking at individual websites as a start. There was something about the way the person I chose presented her service that spoke to me and so it proved in practice. Wishing you all the best. x

Hi Wirry. I went to counselling to help me deal with the trauma of my husband’s sudden and very unexpected death. It did help with the trauma and used CBT to help me turn my negative thoughts into more positive ones. I went private so I wouldn’t have to wait more than a few weeks. It did a little for my grief but I’m still really struggling with being alone. I do think it’s worth a try. Good luck