Who dreams of a new life ? maybe moving and starting up somewhere else ? maybe meeting new people ? I’m in Nottingham was born here and lived here all my life. I’m not homeless so I have a roof over my head and the tenancy is in my name. But besides my sister who getting on and with a partner, I’m struggling to find a reason to stay in my birth city. If I’m going to be on my own for the rest of my life, well I could do this anywhere. We all in very similar positions on here and where else can I speak my feelings ? Don’t trust the internet and I got family in Australia but it takes an age to get a reply when I write to my aunty. Health slows me down with any big plans at the moment! so I’m kind of binded to my birth city for now.
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Since my husband passed I have a real desire to sell up, move somewhere entirely new and start again. I get emails from an agency in NZ looking for my profession so know I could get a job.
I think it would be good for me, but I have 4 kids who need me and maybe always will. So that dream will Probably never happen.
But if I had nothing to keep me here I would just go and give it a try. If it doesn’t work I could always come home.
Sometimes a change is good - you don’t leave behind your grief but perhaps it is easier if you don’t have constant reminders of what you have lost.
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@Keith68 It may be a better idea if you took yourself off for a few weeks, rent a holiday home, or go travelling. Then when you return, everything might look different and your head will be clearer as to what you want to do next? I plan to have some quality holidays when my old dog goes, I can’t leave her now as she’s too frail. I won’t leave this town as my daughter lives here too; her father was absent both physically and emotionally since she was 2, although she’s almost 22 now I know she still needs me.
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I have an open invitation to move to the US,that’s never gonna happen,my wife and I built this home and made it what it is,there are far too many memories to leave behind,when I did fleetingly consider moving one of my neighbours said the pain will always go with you,but memories and love you will leave behind.
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Memories will go with you as they would me. That won’t change! mum is still part of the property where ever I would go.
Sadly memories do fade,and although maybe not constant reminders but certainly some are for me,all the things we experienced together could never be replicated in a different house,but I guess it’s horses for courses,some may feel the need to move on others the need to stay,whichever you choose good luck.
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Your partner is part of you not the property. So she will always will be part of you. Someone told me my mum lived on in my heart. I think he was right, they no longer with us physically but I think they are in other ways.
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I would like to sell my house and move to a different place. Since Stephen died, I find it too painful to go to the town he lived in and also the seaside town where we met. My memories of my time with him will remain in my heart always, wherever I go…
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Yea understandable! some how we all need to move on though some how, In our own way. I think here helps as we all should understand each other. Why like you said our lost ones will always be in our minds and hearts. Somehow we are in a different life now and we should try to take advantage of that if possible.
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I agree we need to find a way to move on and forward. . Our memories we will cherish for all time.I have only joined today and already I have found it helpful …
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I would love to move by the sea, or buy a holiday home that all the family can use. I just dont know where as my kids live in different places in the UK. Maybe one day i will find what im after.
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I sometimes am able to think a bit. I need to move because I can’t afford the house and expenses now. That means a move far elsewhere, as I am priced out of this area. I miss my husband so much, but this was “his town” and he was ultimately saddened by it when we moved back here. Too much change and loss in the 25 years he was away. I do want to move. I imagine that I could find other older widows and widowers but that’s probably fantasy.
Yes I kick the idea around of moving. In reality can’t face upheaval. It is a struggle here. Too big for me unless kids come to stay occasionally. Expensive now
But houses not selling anyway.
Yes sometimes dream of somewhere else to go but hate travelling on own now. Too old. I am glad I used to go and do what I felt like 20 years ago while I had the chance. It was tough then worse now. I like to see the family and cheers me up. Would hate not to at all.
But kids grow up and do their own thing
Wish was more confident
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Same here. Even driving now is difficult, as I’m always aware that John is not there to phone if something goes wrong. He was my rock, and the basis of any confidence I had then. I can’t even think of being brave enough to go out of my ‘cynefin’ as the Welsh call it; your ‘rooted place.’
Yes get that and get days of exactly the same.
Anxiety in is tough.
I went to the lady doctor the other day and felt I’d achieved that. Had a bath and changed into different clothes now it is colder. More layers. Tights, socks and boots back on.
Black and red. A bit out there colour wise. The doc commented so I said yes like father Xmas.
That is what my old mum would have replied and she died 28 years ago and still wear her red coat when it gets even colder. And will say oh yes I will add my father Xmas hat to it too.
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