Who was he?

My husband of 20 years passed away 2 weeks ago, he had a chronic disease that escalated quickly and he died unexpectedly.
I have always known he was a flirt and was desperate for female attention and now on his phone I find inappropriate messages to many women online, messages to his friends about women he likes, even messages to my female colleagues at work talking to them in the same way he talked to me.
He even fell for the classic con of the woman who “accidentally”messaged him and sent him photos. This has been happening for years right up until the days before he died.
I don’t believe he actually met these women, although I do know he was inappropriate with women at work as he was sacked for it twice.
I am so confused, I love him, I miss him, and I have to arrange a loving funeral for him but at the same time I’m hurt and angry and just want to shout at him.
His friends will be at his funeral and so will some of the women he flirted with, I feel so embarrassed.
Things were obviously not perfect between us but we did have some good times, I’m just not sure who I married anymore.


Some of the women will be at the funeral, as will some of his mates who he shared info with?
You have absolutely no need to feel embarrassed, they definitely should. Hold your head up high. I would blank them, and make it obvious.
A similar thing happened to a friend of mine. She told people the reason she wasn’t openly bereft was because of the way her late husband had acted, and she elaborated.

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you knew what he was like for over 20 yrs, they knew he was married too and you stayed together and accepted it so i dont think anything will be or should be mentioned at the funeral, it was flirting and talk nothing more. some people are that way inclined and he obviously loved you above anyone else or it wouldnt have lasted that long. dont worry about it, he could have taken things further than talking and he didnt.