Is it just me or do you all feel like we have a weight sitting on our shoulders think his name is grief. He’s with me all the time even follows me to toilet he eats away at your emotions and makes your feel awful. Mine keeps whispering in my ear " your on your own now " . I wake in morning he’s there saying another day to get though no more laughter in this house just tears and dark thoughts. Wish this grief would go away he’s not wanted and I could go back a few months so I could do thinks differently , but I think this unwanted guest is here to stay.
Yes it’s me again. There is a poem I’m very fond of which perhaps you know, comforting and beautiful for the grieving. I include it here.
You are struggling I know and my heart goes out to you. Keep communicating won’t you.
He Is Gone by David Harkins
You can shed tears that he is gone
Or you can smile because he has lived
You can close your eyes and pray that he will come back
Or you can open your eyes and see all that he has left
Your heart can be empty because you can’t see him
Or you can be full of the love that you shared
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday
Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday
You can remember him and only that he’s gone
Or you can cherish his memory and let it live on
You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back
Or you can do what he would want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on.
Sending love, Miche24
Sending kindness misprint. Bad day for me today too. x
That brought back memories miche. When I lost my Husband The funeral directors suggested I included it but I couldn’t include it as it was too poignant and made me cry!
When my mum passed away in December I chose what I heard her recite many times called “The Life that I Have” by Leo Marks. Poems are so personal to each readdr arent they.
I’m sorry you’ve had a bad day. Such a dark, cold and difficult time of year. We don’t really need reminding how hard life is during these winter months. What strange times we are living through, it makes everything so much harder to cope with.
Please know we are here for you and I’m so glad you are brave enough to post your thoughts and feelings on this forum.
Know you are cared about, even by a stranger.
Your post came through as I was writing the previous one. I love that by Leo Marks. I have been a funeral celebrant for some years now and come across many poems, they are still one of the best ways of expressing our feelings. x Miche24
Thankyou for your kindness and considerate reply Miche.
These words make it sound I should just forget him and move on it’s that what it means
Not at all, it means live your best life because you had Jim in it and he would hate that you are suffering so. I’m sorry you didn’t find comfort others feel in that poem. His loss has crushed you I know that, but the words of the poem are there to remind you that he has left you so much. The hardest thing to cope with right now is that Jim is not with you physically, I am so sorry Misprint. x
Thks for explaining but I’m not ready to move on without Jim I know I will have to one day but at moment I can only live day to day
Of course, I know. Take care tonight and speak to you again x
I feel your pain misprint and I know that there are some beautiful words written to make us feel better but memories are not for the here and now. We can’t EVER have the same happiness that we had with our loved ones and looking back at it just makes me feel worse nor better. I KNOW I had lovely days with my husband but now he is gone everything seems unimportant. He was there when he gave me the love that I needed and now he is gone and so is everything else.
Hi misprint I remember the celebrant saying those words at my husbands funeral and I felt like hitting him because it all sounded so bloody sanctimonious and made me feel guilty because I couldn’t do or see those things, the poem would sound lovely if I hadn’t lost my love of my life but in reality you just want to scream and shout how unfair and cruel life is and how wretched and desperate you feel, I still feel the same even now because it’s not how I feel, memories can’t replace what we’ve all lost and isn’t it written to make others feel better xx