why should unmarried partners in long term relationships be treated so badly when their long term partner dies without a will.it needs changing .how can we get this to be changed and why with 100s of thousands living together without being married,isnt the law changed to reflect modern day life and relationships.
why are unmarried partners treated like shyte.can anything ever be done so the intestate rules reflect modern day life
Hello Jianye. I lost my Husband so can’t really relate but my Sister has been with her partner over 20 years and raised 2 children. She once spoke of the hoops she would have to jump through and the trauma this would cause so I can see where you are coming from. It doesn’t seem fair does it when there are so many other “compromises” and allowances being made to support changes in other areas of a modern society. I don’t have an answer but I hope you don’t get too dragged down by all the rubbish this red-tape nonsense is throwing at you. Take care.
I will always class my partner as my husband as we were engaged for so long. We were going to get married but he got I’ll and it got pushed aside. He died in June without a will although he had nothing to leave. I was with him for five years and looked after him for the last year 24/7 on my own with his cancer.
I would look after him again in a heartbeat but did it for love and not money.
When he died I organised the funeral and got everything started off with paperwork. As soon as you say you were not married people dealing with paperwork seem to not class you as important as if you got married. Also it leaves the doors open for people from the past to suddenly appear and try to change things already put in place. This can just cause extra upset and distress and you can’t do anything about it.
The other thing I hate is they now class you as single not widowed on paperwork, which to me makes you feel as though you were not as important and don’t matter.
In answer to your question I’m not sure how this can be changed, I wish I did. Just to spare other people the same experience.
I was also very lucky to get help and advice from Macmillan with issues relating to being unmarried. Without Macmillan I don’t know what I would have done.
They helped me get free expert advice I could not have afforded in relation to everything from family issues to money issues.
I hope you get everything sorted.
I think maybe a word of explanation may help. Being in a partnership, even for many years and with a family it does not constitute a contract in law, Marriage does. Because old fashioned ideas have not changed the nonsense continues. One post recently said that on registering partners death she was classed as an ‘informer’. This can be distressing.
There are however, many cases contested in court where an unmarried partner has been granted the same rights as a spouse. some registrars, perhaps with old ideas, may treat people in an indifferent way if they are unmarried when a partner dies
As I understand it there are Bills pending in Parliament to change this, but Brexit has caused delay. Hope that helps.
My advice to anyone, married or not, would be to try to have a will drawn up by a solicitor. I know the expense can be a problem but the law doesn’t make many allowances even when people are married. It’s not so bad if there’s just a surviving spouse but once children and step-children are involved, especially if a couple die together in an accident, say, then the rules are inflexible and may well not agree with what we want. It’s far too complicated for a post on here but I suspect that many people would be dismayed about the rules of intestacy, even where there is a marriage. Blood tends to trump love.
Sorry if this seems unhelpful in terms of the original post but the law doesn’t have a heart for us to appeal to…
It’s quite easy and cheap to make a simple will.
We weren’t married and did this and I had no problems when my partner died.
Without a will it would be impossible for the government to determine who was and wasn’t in a relationship .
when a person died and who they intended to leave their belongings to.
The courts would be full of cases that they could never resolve. J
I just wanted to address the disagreement that took place yesterday evening. I understand that everyone in this community is going through a difficult time and emotions can sometimes run high. It’s fine to have disagreements and they’re bound to happen as we’re all very different people. However, it’s important that any disagreement is respectful and does not become personal.
A number of posts have been removed from this conversation and we will be monitoring it closely to ensure the community continues to be a safe and supportive space for everyone here.
If you do think a post goes against our community guidelines, please don’t respond and instead click the ‘report’ button at the bottom of the post to let me know. Our community guidelines can be found here: https://support.sueryder.org/community/guidelines
If you have any questions or concerns please send an email to email@example.com and we will respond as soon as we can.
Take care everyone,