I lost my husband only 12 days ago after a 2 year battle against pancreatic cancer. I am still going through the numbness stage but the tears are not very far away. I think I would feel so much better if I could let the tears come but they just won’t
Is this normal not to cry after losing the love of your life?
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Hi LyndaG I think everyone reacts differently when they lose someone so I wouldn’t worry too much about it. At some point the brick wall that’s holding the tears back will crumble and the tears will flow. You are probably still in shock - even though you knew at some point your husband was going to pass away it is still a shock when they do.
LyndaG, I know exactly how you feel. My darling wife, Laura, died six weeks ago yesterday and I had a headache and felt really ill for the first weeks, but the tears, although not far away, just wouldn’t come. I just wanted to wail and sob and cry; I knew I would feel better if I could. And then, yesterday, out of nowhere I found the tears flowing. Today I can’t stop. I’m not sure I feel better for it, but I’m glad I am. I think it’s quite normal not to cry after losing the love of your life; that’s my experience. And you may find, like me, that tears, and lots of them, come later after the immediate numbness starts to ease. Be gentle with yourself.
I never cried after the love of my life died ,he died suddenly and I was just numb with shock,I didn’t cry at the funeral 5 weeks later I was still just numb.About 2 months later the tears came and now 14 months later they still come out of the blue.
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I haven’t cried very much, and it’s 9 months now. At first I was too shocked to cry, as he died very suddenly, but then it just settled into a kind of permanent heavy feeling. I miss him terribly, it scares me being without him, and I ache inside all the time, but don’t cry.
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I don’t think “normal” exists with grief, the loss of ur soul mate is an experience of millions of emotions which come at all different stages, whilst we all share this awful loss, everybody’s journey is different & u have to take ur own path at ur own pace, its ok to feel however u do, the tears will come & when they do u wish they would stop, this is ok, we all feel numb, sad, angry, lonely & this is all ok, only u are walking in ur shoes & they don’t fit everyone! I still feel all those emotions sometimes in one day & I am 8 months in to my journey of surviving without the love of my life & there is no false hope here, it is bloody hard but we have to keep fighting & just taking each day as it comes & accept how we feel in each moment, sending u hugs x
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