Why Can’t I Move On

It is nearly three years since my husband Peter died and I still feel I cannot move forward. He was my absolute world and losing him has broken me. Why I still cannot see a future for myself without him I don’t know. Does anyone else feel like this after what seems like an eternity?

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Hi I’m so sorry that you find that you can’t move forward. I undertstand as it is so hard to carry on after losing someone you loved and have been with for such a long time. It is two years since my husband died and I am struggling. I have no joy in my life and when I do go out I feel so vulnerable now. I didn’t feel vulnerable before my husband died, even when out somewhere on my own. I think it is that there is no one there to think/worry about you if you are out and might be a bit late getting back. I fully understand how you feel. Let’s hope things do start to improve for us both.x

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This is me as well but it it is just 10 weeks.

I miss him so much, we were always together and he saw to so many things.

Loobyloo2

I do hopes so. It is a very lonely place to be. Love to you xx

It’s over two years my mum died and she was my long term partner, my best friend and my all. After the breakdown of my last relationship I had nobody else and didn’t want to. She understood me 100%. Everyone understands what it’s like lose a husband/wife but nobody understands what it’s like to find your soulmate in someone else. I know I will never move on. It’s impossible.

RoseGarden

I am further on than you but it is still so difficult to look to the future. I struggle daily and feel so alone. My heart goes out to all at the beginning of their journey. xx

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Please try meditation to let go of your thoughts This will help u live in the present and be at at peace Thinking of you

Stranger1

Why would I want to let go of my thoughts. This would mean leaving the past (my husband) behind and that I can’t and don’t want to do.

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Mo Greg cherish every thought. I’m terrified of forgetting.
They probs many letting go of negative feelings. But thoughts and memories please preserve them. I was robbed of my mum’s bicycle last summer and it was heartbreaking. I try to tell myself all the stories she told me and speak to her everyday and watch the photos of our trips.

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Mogreg1 Bless you Of course don’t let go of all your beautiful memories I mean let go of worries and negative thoughts about everything so you can live alongside your loss Meditation helps you separate your thoughts and focus on letting go of unhelpful and painful emotions so they slowly fade and you are more able to enjoy your memories My husband died last year we knew each for more than 60 years and he died abroad visiting his family without me and was buried there without me I found it very difficult at the beginning to accept the situation but am slowly adjusting to a very different lifestyle I hope you find a way through too so you can live in peace Thinking of you

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Hi Stranger1

I too knew my husband for more than 60 years and we were married for 54 of them. I miss him so much it hurts. I am willing to try anything to help me move on. I have tried counselling but it did not do what I wanted it to do. But how do I get into trying meditation? Any advice would be very much appreciated. xx

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Well as I don’t where you live and your personal circumstances it is difficult to advise you I have learned from many sources 1 from a teacher who was actually a health professional in a local church in a small group . Also from a Buddhist Temple near me where they give weekly free classes There are plenty of beginners classes on the internet and I also have purchased a few meditation CDs People now also use YouTube a lot Do you have it on your TV ?? That is a marvellous way to learn a bit at home
If you decide to try it just do 10 mins a day and gradually increase it
I also do chair yoga for people who cannot do regular yoga and my yoga teacher does a short meditation as part of lesson If there is a gym near you they may know of meditation class or your GP practice may even have some information Good luck

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Thank you Stranger2I will see what I can find.

Yes, it’s been 7.5 yrs now. A few years ago I decided to paint the house. I took down our wedding pics. They were right outside our bedroom and hit me in the face every time I went upstairs or got out of bed. I have her urn on the fire place. I made memorials in a few rooms with dried flowers from the funeral. Looking back, I don’t think that was a good idea mentally for me. But at the time it made perfect sense. Now I have the delema of having her urn and think what happens to them if I die. I don’t want our kids to have to make a decision on what to do in that happens. I made a new will with instructions that her and I shall be buried together

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