Why can't I cry?

I woke to find my husband had died in his sleep on Boxing Day last year and over the last two weeks have lost his mum as well. I feel I want to and need to cry but can’t. I have been a nurse for a very long time and have appeared to built up this protective shield to hide emotion from other people but I am holding everything in. Can this be normal or am I got to be hit with a tsunami of emotion? I have tried counselling but that didn’t help really.

I have the same problem. Because of my upbringing I find it very hard to cry. Knowing the reason behind it as you do doesn’t help though.

A counsellor told me that I intellectualise feelings and persuade myself out of them. It is true. I am coming to terms with this and allowing myself to feel what I feel.

It is exactly four years on from my husbands death (21.08.2017) I am only just telling myself that it is OK not to find crying easy.

We are all different, we all handle things in different ways and that’s OK. To hell with what other people expect of us and the unreasonable expectations we have of ourselves.


We are not all the same and not being able to cry is not the be all and grieving is a personal thing. Please never worry about what others think or what is seen as ‘norm’ there isn’t such a thing.
Take care and ignore convention. S xxx