Why can't I cry ??

I’ve read lots on here about how some of you can’t stop crying.
That must be horrible, and exhausting, I get that .

But 9 months 15 days on, I’ve had some tears, and the occasional sob.
BUT just don’t feel like I’ve cried properly at all, and I want to, because I think it would help me.
Everyday, every hour is horrible and hard work. I’m sad all the time, I’m lonely all the time, and I miss my husband with every bone in my body and every breath that I take . So why can’t I cry properly.
I get by in he day… I walk my two dogs early in the morning, I go to work, I walk my dogs again to the pub ( where we always went together), I see people I paint a smile on my face, I go home, go to bed early, sad and lonely, hoping to dream about him. But still no proper tears.
I’ve heard a bit about something called delayed grief, or complicated grief,and I’m starting to think that’s what is happening to me.
I can feel myself welling up as I write this, but I know it won’t lead to proper tears.
Has this happened to anyone else, as most of what I read on here is from those of you who can’t stop crying.

Hugs to you all :hugs::hugs::hugs: :hugs::hugs::hugs:


@Cathphil . For 2 weeks l was numb and in shock although my husband’s death was expected. For 2 weeks, with the help of my sister, l went through the motions of dealing with paperwork notifying relevant authorities. And then the day after his funeral all hell broke loose. Sobbing & wailing, anxiety, panick attacks. l am housebound and alone, so l had nothing but my thoughts.

Reading your post l see that your days are pretty full with various distractions, this is most probably why you feel you have not grieved like you feel you ought. But different people handle grief in their own way, there is no set way to react, it is whatever your body & mind wants to do. Go with the flow, maybe one day, and this is something l would not wish on anyone, the floodgates will open. Don’t go looking for it.
Take care xx


Hi cathphil. I can’t cry either. Just got this tight feeling in my chest through anxiety. I want it to come out but it won’t!!!


I wish I could too.
I need the release , it’s all inside me.
And it’s so, so hard.
Big hugs, thank you for your reply.
It does help to know that the same is happening to others.
Big hugs to you :hugs::hugs:


I saw my auntie today and she said she hasn’t cried at all for her husband who died 5 years ago. She said she felt really bad about it. Her husband had Parkinson’s and she nursed him for many years and she was all out of emotion. She also had a friend who also hasn’t cried but was greatly helped to know that others had experienced the same as her.
All of us are completely different and individuals. There is no right or wrong way to grieve.


No it’s not wrong that your not crying all the time I don’t cry all the time and I too miss my husband with every finer of my being also but I’m no longer the person I used to be and never will be we all grieve in different waays it didn’t mean we all cry everyday some do and some don’t there is no wrong or right way to grove so foyour own thing that’s your way of grieving xx

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@Sonya24 @Carrotsgirl
Thank you for replying. It really means so much to me.

I’m so tired all the time, the grief is so exhausting. Everything is such hard work. Even little things.
And it’s so exhausting either pretending I’m okay, or telling the truth.

I’m so sorry for your auntie @Carrotsgirl . Do give her a hug from me when you see her.

Hugs to you all :hugs::two_hearts::hugs:

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