Why can't I get out of feeling ??this way

I can’t get out of this feeling of inertia. This time last year he was in hospital still hanging on. It was a nice day but couldn’t go out because of this inertia. I was capable but just didn’t. Couldn’t seem to force myself like have been just watching old episodes of the Crown when old king died.
Even Queen had it etc
Loss so many of them. Not just my husband but everything else too.
No status, company only cat.
It is quiet as just clock ticks. The hall one has stopped.
I can’t be motivated. I wish I could.
I think why go to the shops? I have stuff to eat. It is just for the sake of it and it can wait. Why go to the same old walk? Last time I didn’t see anyone.
So I waste time writing silly letters I screw up. I am just surviving. Going through the motions.
I should be grateful. I have a home. Some folk do not. I have a pet. She is ok. I have food. I have flowers outside. I could do whatever I want but that is it. I just feel empty now.

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I’m just giving this a gentle bump for you, @Enorac - hopefully someone will have some thoughts to share :blue_heart:

I know this inertia. The only way out of it is will power. I make a pct with myself to determine a task and a timeframe to do it in. This is the only way things are getting done. It took me 4 months to get around to defrost a freezer but I have done it. This made me feel better. This is what works for me. Xx. Sandra

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Aw … i know … its so hard :frowning: i hate this solitary life too. When i go out with dog and dont see anyone it makes me feel exactly the same … more alone than when im at home. Its bloody tough this is ! Its awful. I need to go to the shops for some food but i dont even want to do that ! I just cant be bothered half the time but i will have to cos i have nothing in xxx

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I feel exactly the same…just existing…waiting for a spark of optimism…of motivation to do anything…but Groundhog Day just comes around again and again…:heart:

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I feel exactly the same, it’s awful and at odds to the way we once were. I hardly recognise myself a lot of the time, but it’s the way losing our partners has affected us. I set myself tasks but often, if I am honest, they get put off until later.

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Although it’s hard I do try and set myself tasks to do around the house, but it’s so hard doing it on your own. I have a project to sort out the little 3rd bedroom and turn it into an office, which means I can then free up the large 2nd bedroom for visitors. Thankfully my daughter, probably because she wants me to have the grandkids overnight next week, is coming at the weekend to help me clear out and clean the two rooms. Trouble is a lot of the time I go to bed and lists of things I need to do keep going round and round in my head, which means I have trouble going to sleep. I’m hoping that with my daughter’s help I’ll be able to tick one major thing off of my list!

You must write down your list. If necessary keep pen and paper by your bed. Trick I learnt when project managing

I do usually write down lists and it’s good when I can tick something off! Today I had 6 things on my list, even though I added one by making it 7, and have ticked off half already. xx

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Well done. I rarely get through that many. I find one is a success. Storm Babet arrived. Bucketing down. Of course I have towels to dry. Thank god for de humidifiers. I don’t use my tumble dryer. Will probably give it to my friend as hers is leaking. Achievement for today will be to cook chicken breast in air fryer without burning them or undercooking them.

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I’ve been out out to my friends for a coffee this afternoon and managed to get back just before the heavens opened! Still I did manage to print out the thing I needed to for my visit to my counsellor tomorrow. Now I need to decide what to make for dinner! Have a nice evening. xx

Glad you beat the rain. Been miserable here all day and according to the forecast for the next 2 days. One of my big aims is to lose weight. I am eating and yet I have lost 2st 9lbs in the last few months, This has meant my mobility has improved. Gradually looking after myself is becoming easier. My husband was my carer so I have to learn and adapt. If I can lose enough I might try driving again with some lessons first. I am still at the point of focusing on the small wins.

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@Pudding
Oh that’s really good news , even though I am sure it is not the way you would have wanted to lose weight.
You seem to have a very positive attitude and I am sure you will get to your weight goal and will be driving again soon.

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Well done with the weight loss. Since “D-day”, when I lost Keef in February, I have lost 4 stone! Initially I was eating all of the wrong things but woke up and started to exercise and eat better and my stupid doctor, when I saw her last week, said “Oh you seem to have lost weight, was that intentional!”, I had to stop myself from punching her!! I do feel so much better, apart from the slightly still annoying ankle, and a lot younger so I must be doing something right. I now find it a lot easier and generally things seem a little more positive even though I’m alone in the house apart from the cats. So I suppose we just have to deal with the small things, as you say, and try and feel good about every little thing we achieve. xx

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Not sure anyone really wants me on the road. When I did drive my parking was appalling. I also in the past reversed into a fire escape and quite a large tree both in company cars. My facilities manager was not over pleased with me. I am a complete menace on my mobility scooter when I can use it.

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@Pudding well done with the weightloss. Keep going . You will feel so much better, Im the same I need to get fit to do all the jobs my lovely husband did.
We have to look after ourselves.

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Well chicken came out fine. Trouble was packaged when there was 2 of us. Nothing wrong with it but got half way through one chicken breast and just didn’t want any more.
Still take it as a win as it was neither under or over cooked. Xx

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You can freeze the other chicken portion and use it on another day.
Gosh wish I was naturally losing weight. I am comfort eating. Can get opposite response. Wonder if I am the only one! It is boredom.
Today I got two tel calls. One from last session from Cruse Bereavement counsellor and other from this moving on scheme I signed up for. I am being sent a yoga tape and some motivational cards to stick round the house.
And she thought of a swimming pool I could go to. In the water can have tears that do not show. When I lost a friend ages ago, it was effective. Don’t know if it will work this time. No good unless enjoy it a bit.
I sorted out swim stuff before but couldnt find a slot.

I am not good at driving either. Got to try and drive ten miles tomorrow for covid jab to a walkin centre.
Then may be go in Aldi on way home if can cope with that as well.

I went on my own last time after my husband had died but it was an appointment. I could use my appointment booked which is twice as far away but that is a long way for me with my driving although do know the way.
I sound all ifs and buts don’t I?

Problem is chicken is not really a favourite of mine. I took taxi the mile into crewkerne and had my flu and covid jabs together. I totally understand about the driving. Any decision is difficult at present. The number you have to make when driving us mind numbing.