I live in Cleckheaton. What about you?
1 Like
I live near skipton xx
@Courtshaun my Andrew was at home more than me and he looked after the house gardens and cars . I am lost without his big personality and utter love
2 Likes
Yes it is hurtful, especially when it’s your own family. I’m still getting burned by this. I find it very difficult to deal with, to maintain some sort of relationship with them while not getting upset by their singular failure to support me in this living nightmare.
Yup, you are right.
1 Like
Hi @JerryH
Sorry to here about your family.
Strange how they are unable to understand what grief and pain you are suffering at this time.
My daughter who lives only 2hrs away has given me no support or little if you can a text every 2 weeks. I have not seen her since the funeral which is 5+ months.
Never saw or heard from her previously when Kevin was alive so nothing changed.
We only saw her if we made effort to visit she does not make effort to contact me.
Guess she assumes i can cope even when i tell her im not.
As my husband used to say if anything hsppens to either of us we are on our own how right he is.
I guess you cant chose your families and have to live with them best we can
Take care
Lynne
4 Likes
I am so sad I have had to go back to work . I seem to have the worse depression from my son always the first night I am off . He said again nothing is worth living for tonight again . I have tried so hard for him . He says he is not ready for work . It’s nearly 6 months . I have enough dealing with the loss off my beloved husband , I don’t know what to do
2 Likes
Hi @Jol, that is really awful for you. Trying to cope with your own grief while now having the worry of your son’s grieving and mental health is a huge burden for you. Can you reach out to any of his friends to see if they can distract him? Have you any contact with a Bereavement support worker, maybe they could suggest some avenue by which he could get some additional support at this time.
Sorry I cannot be of more help to you.
Best wishes.
1 Like
Yeh has he had bereavment counselling ? Does help to understand it - how and why you are feeling like this. I had 10 sessions … you know you can do it through sue ryder online - grief kind … Xxx
Yeh flipping families ! I almost feel like it should be me apologising ! So sorry i lost my husband - it must be a big inconvenience for you - my grief ! So sorry you have to deal with my pain and sadness … huh . Best to stay away from them i have decided … theyre no help ! Hope my holiday helps me feel more positive about life ? Im hoping so anyway … x
1 Like
Yeh you can chose your frirnds but not your family ! aint that true xx
My 2 daughters only contacted us when they needed money. My husband finally said no, and they stopped calling or even stopping by for 4 years not a word. When he passed I felt it was right to contact them to let them know. It took me a week to find a way to contact them. I remembered one of them had face book. Sent her message to call me. After the call the second one turned up at our house after 10pm. She was demanding to know why I had waited so long to tell them and accusing me on not telling them when the funeral was going to be. The coroner had him and as he passed on New Year’s Eve there was a back log of cases. So until the coroner released him there was no way to plan a funeral.
After the funeral they were all gimme gimme, the one good thing about the council forcing me from my home is they have no idea where I live now. Families can be brutal.
3 Likes
They certainly can !!! They were all gimme, gimme, gimme ? I hope you said no ! Omg when you had funeral to sort etc ? I had trouble with 2 of my kids but one of them is being lovely and im taking her and my granddaughter away in 10 days as a thank you but also for me because its been a hard year and i know it would make him happy too ! He would be thrilled 
dont you see your daughters then now ? Thats sad … you need them really to support you … xx
1 Like
I did tell them no. I figure if he meant anything to them they would have been in touch with him. They ignored me at the funeral, just glared at me as I made my way out of the crematorium.
All of a sudden they wanted his ashes along with money and the things in the house. After I told them to go away as he did not mean enough to him to even text, so no I don’t talk to them. My husband’s wishes were for me to not even tell them he was gone, but I felt that was too cruel. We have a son with autism that has been brilliant. He has learned a lot of diy to get the new flat looking more like our home. He was there helping me with his dad even during the rough times. I cherish that one of the children is here with me.
2 Likes
Thats nice that your son is around.
Family are just so difficult. It is not all like the adverts of happy family all gathering to celebrate Christmas. Not every family is like that they can be more complicated.
This Christmas i will be on my own which really is what i want Usually it was just both of us on that day and it will be both of us again on that day.
I do have a daughter here but have not seen her since funeral 5+ months had a couple of texts saying she is busy and is dealing with my 2 grandchildren teenagers aged 15 and 16 so cant be caught up in my problems. Families !!
I do have a granddaughter who is 23 and she has our great grandson who is 1 she texts every couple of days i hope to see her this month and keep in touch My husbsnd and myself always made a point of visiting regularly and i will continue to do this when i can.
Anyway sending you hugs
Take care
Lynne x
2 Likes
I lost my husband of 40 years 5 months sgo. My son who is in his 30’s lives with me and he is an alcoholic. His drinking is worse now and i cant deal with grieving snd my son. I feel incredibly lonely.
2 Likes
Aw … yeh thats nice u got your son ! Mmm … your girls ! Whatever ! Dont worry ive had trouble with two of my kids as well … it always ends up being about money doesnt it … damn cheek ! They dont wanna help you they just want your bloody money !!! Xx
Oh no thats all you need xxx
1 Like
Ha! @Deb5 you are so right!
Sorry to be an inconvenience, a burden, that my wife has died and my world has completely fallen apart and I can see no future whatsoever. What a drag for you, of course it is.
Yes, hope your forthcoming holiday brings some comfort. Whatever, it is good to have some hope regardless.
Best wishes.
2 Likes
He does go out with his friends now and he puts a better face on for them . He has had counselling and they have completed it . Not much help really . I hope in time he will cope better .
2 Likes
Oh really how thoughtful of your daughter !!! My eldest has had a similar attitude ! I met up with her once in the last 10 months since my husband passed ! Theyve got a chip on their shoulder havent they ?
Good you in touch with your granddaughter though
Yeh i just wanna just have a quiet xmas xx
1 Like