Why is is it, when you are think your just starting to manage, life turns round and smacks you in the face . My god hasnt life already taken the most treasured person from me!?? How much more am i suppose to take. Life is so cruel ! My life has been tore apart in 10 weeks today and it just seems to get worse.
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Please tell us in detail, it will help you whatever is inside of you
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My son doesn’t seem to care that my husband died and left deceit and lies . He believes because he cheated on me and i only found out after he passed, i should be ok now. I still loved him, and we had a life together for 13 years. I know what he did was awful and i wont ever get any answers. My son has not been there for me. He does everything jhe can to avoid me and to point that he said he wasnt going to left to pick up the pieces. Ive always done my best for my kids. Especially my son, i helped support when he went to university, payed all his finance off for his car. I cant help that my husband died and he cheated on me 6 years ago. I feel like hes blaming me for everything! He want his biological father but he was the only man hes really had in his life. I know hes disappointed in him, as i am. But i cant change that fact. I need support not criticism at this time.
Hey @N8658 so sorry for your loss.
I dont think Ive heard of 2 people grieving the same way, I believe were all wired differently so have our own way of dealing with things, especially grief. You had a different relationship with your husband, than your son did. So whilst you’re grieving a husband and also bemoaning someone who cheated on you, he’s grieving a dad and someone he looked up to, someone who has hurt his mum. So when you feel annoyed at your son, step back, remember your grief is not his grief and vice versa. I learnt that when my mum died, I expected everyone, including my brothers to have the same amount of grief as me, it doesnt work that way Im afraid.
Maybe try dealing with the grief side for now? See if your son responds to you only talking about the saddness of your hubbys passing, not the anger of his cheating. 
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I know were not grieving in the same way. What im saying is i dont need to be made feel I’m the burden or blamed in this way. I know he’s hurting because of what he did. But my grief and the deceit with the lies is all i can deal with. I can’t deal with anyone elses grief at this time .
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Maybe he’s just lashing out in his time of grief? Maybe he’s too full of his own grief to take on anyone elses? Even his mums?
Doesn’t sound like a nice situation for either of you, I hope the situation doesn’t get any worse and you find some peace and support. X
Thank you paul for your kindness. Its not a good situation and its not just about what he did 6 years ago. There is so much more lies and deceit. You think you know someone and then find out you didnt at all. Its hearbreaking, the torment he has left me in, is surreal! I cant begin to say how much pain i’m in. Im so sorry for your loss, i lost my dad 10 years, so have a idea of how you must feel. Although everyone’s grief is different. X
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This is so painful to read, I am sorry for your loss and what you are going through at the moment. You don’t deserve this at all. Is there someone you can ask for support like a cousin or someone you are close?
I am not defending your son but being young myself Ik how grief affects people and your son is younger thn me. Do you think you both could afford and go for therapy or counselling? Is it possible to ask some family member to help you or may be join some yoga or meditation classes together or if you can join that might help you?