Why I am still here? I started crying immediately after I woke up. There is no reason why I am still here, except for suffering and crying. It is just a sick joke. Hopefully, it will get better during the day but I do not believe it. Since the weekend I have had no energy to do anything just cry most of the time. Am I the only one who feels like this? Sending lots of love and hugs and hope you all have a better day.
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@Annaessex. I do hope you have a better day. I had a very bad day yesterday and from reading other posts, a lot of us did too. I went to bed early, absolutely drained from crying.
I am having my gas boiler serviced this morning, so I am trying to keep myself in a reasonable state of mind.
I have a counselling (5th)session this afternoon so I am hoping for some help but, I have come to the conclusion that we have to manage our terrible grief as best we can.
Sending hugs x
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Mornings are always bad for me too, if you manage to sleep we have had some respite from the grief but as soon as we wake up it hits us like a ton of bricks, I go for a walk and try to clear my mind.
Stick with it.
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Yes, it’s awful waking up and remembering we face another day without our loved ones, I have found that if I have something planned in the mornings, I can manage better. At least I don’t linger in bed which makes me worse.
xx
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I’m finding early morning very bad as well. Having to get up for something, whatever it is, seems to help.
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I am so sorry you are all feeling so down this morning. I have carers in at 7 a.m ( only time I could get) and they are a cheery presence every morning otherwise I think I would be the same. Also my window cleaner was here at 8 and he is also a cheery presence who i have known for years. I do help everyone gets something positive during the day to help you through. Especially annaessex. You seem to be having a particularly hard time.
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You’re not on your own, I feel exactly the same. I thought I’d wake up and have a better day today but no, I’m in the same mood. I’m going to try and get out the house for a walk later, see if that helps a little. I do find walking helps sometimes. Sending hugs xx
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I wish I would live in an area with a nice park or even in the countryside but my area is not nice for taking a walk. Everywhere is litter and glass shards and only houses and cars. It is more depressing to go out for a walk than to stay at home. Our garden is overgrown with weeds because I cannot keep up with keeping it tidy so it is not nice to sit outside. We got rid of a lot of garden tools last year and wanted to buy new garden furniture this year but I just cannot face it without him. Maybe next year will be better when I know how my finances will be. I am so sorry to sound very depressed but that is how it is in the moment for me. Sending you lots of love and hugs and I hope you enjoy your walk.
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You cannot help feeling depressed, it’s awful what we are having to go through with grief. It’s debilitating.
xx
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Doesn’t sound an ideal area for a walk. If I could walk far there is a lovely wooded area near me. Live on the outskirts of the town and have far reaching countryside views from the second bedroom between the bungalows opposite. Garden now looks lovely after gardener came yesterday just need to find a way to get out there as the steps are a bit high and the flagstones uneven. I feel blessed as your environment can make quite a difference. Whilst the small town is not that pretty despite a lot of old ham stones buildings this side is a very pleasant estate.
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@Annaessex I’m sorry for you . Can’t you drive to a better area to walk . It’s one of the only things that helps me . I had neighbours come and help when they saw me struggling with garden . I wish you could call on someone to help you
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Dear Jol, I am not allowed to drive because of health reasons. I wish I could be more independent from public transport and more flexible to go shopping etc. but it is not possible.
Sounds like you live in a built up area. Are there any community transport options that could help?
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@Annaessex it’s such a difficult time if you can’t get out . I feel for you
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Only buses and a train station. I avoid taking the trains because it reminds me of the time went both to work together. We even used to work together in the same office for years. Now happy and painful memories. And on some days I do not have the energy to get out of the house. I hope it will be better after I start counseling or can join a bereavement group.
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I am going to force myself next Tuesday. I used to volunteer at the community centre pre covid but most of the people I knew are still there. I am lucky to have the centre and a community bus that will pick me up and drop me off. Even has a ramp so I won’t have problems with steps. My chiropodist has just arrived. You really must get some company or the depression will floor you.
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I have an appointment to see the GP on Friday and hope she can advise me.
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Great news, hope you get positive help.
xx
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