Why Is This

I Lost my wife suddenly 5 months ago and like us all have been on this terrible long long journey of Grief since then, which we all know what that involves, but at the end of last week and over the weekend I had a few decent days, which was really nice to actually be quite a normal person again, not forgetting my wife but my thought’s seemed more pleasant than they have been of late, but I woke up this morning and I find I am back almost to square one, cannot stop crying etc, and by the end of today I am banging the worktops in frustration, etc etc etc again, does anyone know why this is? Thanks and Take Care Mickere xxx



I think what your experiencing is normal in grief, it’s like a rollercoaster, one day your in the depths of despair, the next day you feel a bit brighter for a day or two & then without warning you go crashing down again.

Emotions are all over the place, for me when I’ve crashed down, I try to remember that I will come back up again.

Thanks for your reply.Mickere

Hi @mickere,
I’m at a very similar stage to you, my husband died suddenly at the beginning of January.
I’ve also had a few better days recently and I almost feel guilty about that. But then I come crashing back down again when the grief comes over me like a wave. It affects my confidence to make plans as I worry that I’ll be in a bad period and won’t be able to cope.
But I think what we’re both going through is normal. I suppose the better days are positive but I feel I’m getting further and further away from my husband every day and that hurts me so much.
Take care x

Hi Flossy3,
Thanks for your reply, and I am so Sorry to hear about you Husband, although I have read so much about Grieving since my wife died, its still a shock to the system when these waves come and go, the few good days I had last week were the longest period I had experienced since January, as the other good periods had only been in Hours and not days, so when I woke up on Monday morning felling like I did it was such a shock and it was almost as though I was back to the day Hilary died, I am sorry to hear that you are getting to feel further away from your husband each day, but I am sure that wont happen as you wont let that happen and also your late Husband wont let that happen either, I wish that I could talk openly about Hilary and look at our photos of us together as I think that would help me a lot accepting what has happened to us, either way its a horrible tough journey for us all,Take Care Mickere x

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Hi, that sounds absolutely normal on the grief journey. Ive been doing extremely well since my wife died two months ago. However, yesterday was a bad day. I don’t really know why, it’s just the way it is. Today, my happy thoughts have returned (or my negative thoughts have disappeared!). Again, I don’t know why. But I do know that the bad days are getting rarer, week by week.
On odd days I feel worse (guilt) for feeling better.

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