Why my dad

It’s been a few years now since I lost my dad. I’ve done everything I can to channel my grief into other avenues, however it appears to be becoming more present everyday. I always miss him of course, and the usual sadness and tears are shed regularly.

However I now feel angry at other people who have their dads around. Or I’m short tempered with people and the conversation of dads or anything remotely negative about someone’s parents. I don’t mean to be at all, but I find it so hard to cope with the fact that I don’t have my dad here and others do.

It’s such a selfish way to look at it, and I don’t mean for it to come across that way. Does anyone else feel this?

The sense of I guess jealousy and anger that someone else still has there loved one when you don’t.

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Hi Serg,

I’m sorry for your loss.

It will soon be five months since I lost my lovely dad and the grief is relentless and very new to me. My dad was 70 years old when he passed away and prior to the cancer diagnosis he was always so fit and active, you would never have known he was 70.

Since losing my dad I often feel angry and I struggle with the fact that my dad will never reach “old age” and that my mum has lost her husband of 50 years and they won’t grow old together. It’s heartbreaking.

I know people lose parents who are much younger than my dad and although I am incredibly fortunate to have had such an amazing father and relationship with him, I still can’t help but feel cheated and that we should have got more time together. I don’t like feeling this way and I would never wish this pain and grief on anyone but I do have feelings of anger and jealousy. It’s so confusing.

Take care

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Hi Serg,

I am in a similar position, however it my anger is directed at my mother. She is an alcoholic and abuses her body constantly, my dad didn’t do anything of the sort and yet he is the one I am left without.

It’s natural to feel anger towards others. Don’t beat yourself up about that, maybe try to help others who are having negative experiences with their parents and give them some perspective. You can use the way you’re feeling to help others and it may release some of the anger you have been holding onto.