Why won't he make mends

Hi. I am having trouble letting go of anger and resentment as my ex husband/father to my 5 year old inches towards the end of his journey. He drank himself into a frenzy and was diagnosed at 34 with end stage cirrhosis of his liver. (I have reason to believe it’s turned into liver cancer)
As he gets sicker and closer to the end he just won’t make mends to ME for all of the problems he caused, for choosing divorce over getting help when HE needed it most. I’ve been angry for so long, until I saw him the other day. Overwhelming sadness took over inside of me when I saw how sick he was and has gotten. Then I swing back to again to anger and hate because he’ keeps fighting me keeps trying to prove he’s right about everything etc etc. Why can’t I move past the anger and resentment. I feel if I could only hear I’m sorry" I’d be able to move on from the past, let go of my ill feelings, and be there as a friend to him to help bring him peace to the rest of his journey.

My feelings are all over the place. has anyone else expected mends to be made but they weren’t?

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Thanks for sharing that with me. I’m sorry for your loss. It’s hard to watch someone deteriorate from something or a substance, that could have changed the outcome IF ONLY they stopped. I’m sorry our people couldn’t.
I’m wondering how I’ll accept it and not continue on in my life still being upset over the past 10 years