My husband died suddenly we thought we had a DNR but when the paramedics came they asked me for a certificate. I didn’t have one. I didn’t know we had to have one. They then performed CPR for 20 minutes. He’s now in a coma and I can’t cope with it this strapping intelligent man. He’s just a shell. Why didn’t they let him go? We are heartbroken.
Hello @TessieH,
I’m Seaneen, and I’m part of the Online Community team. I wanted to say thank you for bravely reaching out. I’m so sorry to hear about your husband - I can hear the heartbreak in your post.
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share a few resources which might be helpful right now.
- Our Supporting someone at the end-of-life pages contain practical advice for those helping someone close to death and information about what you can expect when death is near.
- Our Anticipatory grief page talks about the feelings associated with grief in the days, months or years before someone dies. This is known as anticipatory grief, as you are grieving for someone who is still alive.
I hope you find the community a good source of support to you.
Take good care - you are not alone.
Seaneen
Hi TessieH
I’m so sorry that you and your family are having to go through this heartbreaking loss. I can only imagine how distraught you are feeling that the paramedics did not follow your wishes to DNR and you are having to see your husband this way.
I am thinking of you and sending strength and hugs. Xx
Thank you for your kind response, but right now I am so angry. My husband’s wishes were DNR. But because we didn’t have a piece of paper, they carried on. I asked them to call the Doctor to confirm but this was ignored they just wanted to see the paper. I get that they were worried about perhaps being sued, but surely common sense and humanity should have prevailed 