Its nearly been a week since my beloved husbands funeral.
Why has everyone gone quiet? For two weeks after my husband passed away the phone never stopped ringing, flowers and cards were arriving every day.
Now the phone us quiet all i am getting are letters for “the estate of …”
It seems that its okay to forget that you may need support after a bereavement from your friends, but it seems that they are scared to ask how you are doing, and do you want to talk.
I want to know how other people cope with life after a funeral, because I am struggling.
Thankyou for reading
Hi I’m sorry for your loss . Also sorry but it seems to get worse as time goes on people just get on with there own lives and seem to forget that we are still grieving and will be for a long time if not forever . I find some comfort reading and posting on this site . Because we are all in the same boat . And people on here are more than friends they feel us and our pain . It’s six months since my hubby died and sisters stopped phoning as much or calling in to see me . That’s fine I don’t want to be bitter but I will remember if they have to go through this . It could be my fault as I do put on an act I’m ok but it would be nice for them just to check in ok . I have grown up children and they are always there for me . Take care x
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Hi Frances,
I too struggled after the funeral, I think it’s the point your are at your lowest.
Everyone goes back to their lives and don’t intentionally do it but forget to check in to see how you are.
It was at this point I decided to go down the self-help route and bought a book on CBT on coping with grief. I followed the exercises and for me it helped.
Some people find counseling helps but that wasn’t for me.
Important thing is to give yourself time, reach out to family and friends if you are struggling, they probably just don’t realise.
Take care, love and hugs
Debbie X X
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Thankyou for your reply, I am
starting to reach out to my friends and family but they all have busy lives, My son has wrapped his grief up and has started saying he is too sad to come and see me and my daughter keeps her grief so close to herself she hates me talking about how much i miss my husband.
I am starting to meet up with friends and that will help me.
It does help posting on this site and am grateful for advice that is given.
Frances x
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Thankyou for your reply. You are right as each day passes the loneliness seems to get worse. My children are grown up and try to be supportive but they are grieving too. My son has almost stopped visiting and phoning saying he is too tired, and my daughter doesnt like me talking about my husband as it upsets her too much, she does help me around the house though. My friends are there for me if I reach out, and that helps.
I think I am like you in a way and maybe I am putting on a front saying I am okay, when I am not.
I just wish i could turn time back, and change what happened, thats not going to happen though, so I am going to have to learn to live without my soulmate. I know he would be proud of me.
Frances x
Hi
It seems to happen to everyone. Other people’s lives go back to normal and we are left on our own. I have my family, a couple of good neighbours and a couple of good friends who still check in on me.
At the funeral so many people said we’ll keep in touch, meet up for a coffee etc but haven’t heard anything from them . I’ve tried reaching out and arranging things but it would be nice if someone would ring me but never seems to happen. At least people on here understand… You certainly find out who your true friends are xx
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