Well I have just done my census. I don’t feel like a widow - except I cannot stop crying my eyes out today. I hate the weekends in lockdown. There are things I could do but I just cannot motivate myself today. I just want to chat with my husband .
I keep busy most of the time, but there are days, like today, where I just feel the huge hole .
Tivey everything you’ve just said and done is a mirror image of me this weekend.
It’s the first time ,as my husband only died 6 weeks ago ,that I’ve had to tick the box for widow!
I expect there will be more times in the future I’ll have to tick that box and the tears will flow.
Like you ,I hate weekends as I would be cooking for him ,as he sat chatting to me.
I have no answers to ease this overwhelming pain, just let the tears flow when you need to.
Get angry at the injustice of it all and let it all out.
I don’t know if and when it gets better, if ever, but I do know we need to let the emotions out. Trying to be strong is too exhausting and not good for our health and bugger anyone that tells me differently!
I lost hubby 11 months ago Cancer It will be 1 year on 20 April that he took his last breath It was an honour to be his wife of 30 years All I can say is make him proud thats what Iam doing in his memory Keep him close to your heart.
To Tomtom my hubby is dead just 6 weeks too. It will get better. I am sure. Or at least change. I don’t allow myself bad days usually. I keep very busy. But you are right - you do have to have bad days and vent the pain at times. It sort of allows me to regroup and start into things again, xxx
Wellsh59, yes that is the best one can do. But there still has to be time to vent the pain at times. I think grieving is neither all tears, nor all fighting talk, but rather a mixture. Sometimes the scales tip more on way and at other times the other. Xxx