Widowed at 36

My husband passed away last September after an 8 month fight with cancer. We have a 4 year old daughter. Struggling to get the motivation to do stuff for myself.

Sorry for your loss of your husband. All I can say is get lots of support I lost my partner suddenly in May to a heart attack he was only 48. Some days I have to push myself to do simple things it’s only been a few months for yourself it will take time to get your head around things.
Christine x

Thank you, I’m sorry for your loss. I had people saying I needed to get back to work which I did in December. This week I’m struggling to get motivated and really don’t want to go to work. Putting the brave face to the world is exhausting x

I left my job when I lost James. Last week I was thinking about looking for another job but I am having bad days and I have changed my mind. Putting on a brave face is so hard I feel I am going to crack up.
Christine x

It’s so tough. People say take it at your lane pace. Since I have been back to work management haven’t asked how
I’m getting on and I don’t know how to say to them I’m struggling x

People don’t understand unless they have been in this position. People sometimes say the wrong things too.
Christine x

Presumably you have an immediate line manager and, unless that person is blind or/and uncaring then you would imagine he/she has a good idea of what you have been through. My advice would be… If they don’t know then tell them, and then tell them again. Maybe that person doesn’t know what to do but hopefully there is some semblance of communication between levels of management. They need to know you are struggling and even moreso if they measure performance.
I appreciate it must be so difficult for you but somehow you have to let them know. If possible tell them how it impacts on performance or outcomes, and how that makes you feel. It sounds like the type of nightmare scenario I’ve come across so many times…managers that abdicate their responsibility or don’t even know what it is. We used to call it promoted to their level of incompetence. Maybe better not say that.
Good luck in all that. Maybe you could negotiate a structured return to work after a short period of absence.

I do have a line manager, unfortunately he isn’t very approachable or really understanding . I did a phased return in December and back to normal hours in January. However this week is particularly tough

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