Thankyou…yesterday was the worst so far and I visit the undertaker’s today which…just stressed me all night . Xx
Ty for the hugs i will gladly take one. I read all your post and you give me hope that this nightmare will soon be better to bare. Xxxx
2 Likes
I used to think like you that I don’t want to bother anybody but unless you reach out to others then people don’t know you are lonely and assume you are coping and want to be left alone. I found being open and honest and letting people know I was lonely opened up a new life for me. Neighbours started to invite me round for a chat, friends made more time for me and I kept building on that. I have slowly learnt to accept loneliness is part of losing the person we loved the most.
There are solutions but it does take a lot of effort. Let people in as to what you are going through and there are so many other people going through the same that would be grateful for a phone call, coffee or chat. My life has opened up so much since I stopped putting on a brave face and pretending I was ok. Nobody is going to come knocking at your door is what I learned so you have to reach out and you will be surprised how many people step forward.
I went on a day coach trip with a friend after I had just lost my husband and was surprised how many people were on actually on their own but everyone was welcoming and chatty. You have to step out of your comfort bubble even if it feels scary but once you do life will begin again. I joined an over 50’s solo travel group to see what it was about and there was an 80 yr old lady going to Thailand on her own and looking forward to it. Inspiration right there! Lots of women over 70 having a new lease of life travelling and meeting new friends. We all have to start somewhere but what we cannot do is give in to the loneliness
5 Likes
It sounds like you have turned a corner and I hope I get to that point it’s been 12 months since I lost my husband and I find it very hard to meet people always have done so I only have a couple of friends so I am finding it difficult every day still and to be honest not sure if it’s worth all this heart ache to carry on life has nothing to look forward to for me it almost feels like some horrible punishment I have been given
Sorry you are feeling so low. Sundays always seem to be worse than other days.
I have been widowed twice. I also feel as if I am being punished when I am at my lowest. But if I turn it on its head, I was blessed with two wonderful men, the first for 28 years and then I had an unexpected 16 years of happiness with my second husband.
Please don’t throw the towel in, I know it’s hard to find any joy in life, but there is some lurking around the corner.
It’s only 10 weeks for me and I feel like hell sometimes, but I know I can get through this horror because I have done it before, even though I thought I could not.
Xx
2 Likes
Morning 7 weeks today for me like willow my 2nd husband my first was only for 5 years before he died of a dvt . My second would have been 16 years last Friday. 18 yrs together i am really holding on by a tight rope but hoping some how some way i will get there. Xxx
It’s been 16mths for me, I lost my husband of 30yrs, my 15yr dog Sammy and my mum all last year, at Xmas I hit rock bottom and realised I had to “let go” of them and the past in order to live the rest of my life (possible another 20 yrs) with some peace and if lucky some happiness. It’s been the hardest year of my life and having no surviving family and no kids I have nobody left to fall back on or a purpose to be here so I had no choice but to fight for my own survival as noone to do it for me. I cannot change the past and they are not coming back so letting go was the only way forward. Their love and memories keep me going and good friends. I am also ok in my own company I now see that as a freedom to do what I want to do. I appreciate that I am in a unique position as I have nobody left now to lose to death. It does help that I am a very positive person and always think there are others in this life a lot worse of. Sometimes we have to change our mindset and focus on what we do have. I am grateful I have good health, a roof over my head, financially stable and a few good friends, that’s a good enough reason for me to want to live my life and not wanting to complain. Everyone is different and are on their own journey but sometimes the things people say on does make me shake my head. I think about those mothers whose 3 children were stabbed to death and it puts things in perspective for me
4 Likes
Hello… my husband died suddenly 10days ago. We have a 13 yr old daughter. I feel so disolate not in control. The pain in my heart is so intense and i feel so panicky. I cant imagine ever not feeling like this. Its. A very different feeling than when mum died 6 yrs ago. I keep thinking back to the memories and the famiky holidays and its so so painful.
1 Like
Aww bless you 6 days is really early. Today is my 7th week and my head is still realing from it all. Give yourself time to grief one minute one hour one day at a time. Be kind to you and your little girl. It is so very different i lost my mum dad and sister all in a space of 9 yrs,and yes it was hard but nothing like this. Xxx
1 Like
So sorry to hear of your husbands death. Such a short time ago so it will feel raw. Is there anyone who can help you with the organisation of funeral and paperwork. This will take some of burden away and stop the panic. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Sending hugs. Be kind to yourself and one step at a time.
1 Like