Feels so empty just lost my partner and just won’t sink in I’ll never see them again.
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Howvlong is it. I am 4 weeks on Sunday and i know that feeling xx
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I lost my wife 6 months ago. It was very sudden and unexpected, so I have the same feeling of knowing its happened and finding it hard to come to terms with never seeing her again, or having our “in” jokes or even a natter about nothing special. We all feel like this, unfortunately you have joined a club nobody wants to be in. We are all here to support each other, so keep posting when you need to.
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Awww bless you Nimrod ty for your support. I am sorry you are in this club too. Fingers crossed for us all. I hope we all find peace eventually. Tbe nights are the longest. I hate them . I dont go to bed i sleep on the sofa. I have never been alone before. Xcxc
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Hi i get it. I lost my husband of 30 year’s on February 24th. I have so many days when i want to shout out and say. Cant you see how sad and depressed i am. But i put on the brave face and say i am ok. I am totally not. He was my soul mate i miss our chats and stupid things in life. I spend all day by my self. Apart from my 3 daschunds. I dont want to bother my family they are off on holidays and i see how they can forget.
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I i dont think ppl realise just how hard it is until they have to face it. I dont see my family as they have lifes of there own, the lonilness the empty chair is a killer. I try and do things but all i do is cry.its the most hardest thing to do i am so lonely. I would never wish this on anyone. Xx
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It’s 17 months since I lost my husband of 41 years. The first year I kept busy don’t think I realised this was permanent - he’d spent long spells in hospital over the years but these last few months the fog has lifted. I cry more as I’m lonely and I know this is permanent. I find that talking to him helps me- verbalising the feelings. I know he wants me to enjoy the rest of my life but it’s hard. Going out alone is not enjoyable. So few face to face bereavement groups to meet people to chat and say fancy going out- team up as friends offer support. This group certainly helps. One day at a time and chat on here we know how you feel.
Hi Cooki
I know what you mean. My husband had spent a lot of time on the hospital ove the last few years. Sometimes i think he is in there waiting for me to visit. Then you remember he isnt coming back. I am lonely all the time. And it all the times you just want a hug and there is noone there to give you one. I guess it is one day at the time. But i feel like i am going backwards not forwards at the moment
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I know it’s like you forget for a few seconds then it hits you hard as you remember. And yes those hugs- I’m teary remembering. He wasn’t a spontaneous hugger when we first met but he learned that a hug puts everything right. So miss those hugs.
I relate to this. Lonliness is a dreadful thing to go through. I have been on my own now for 11 months since my partner died suddenly from a stroke and it is not getting any easier. I do not have many friends and no family. I am alone a lot of time and hate it. If someone does come to visit me I get very emotional as soon as they leave. It is also very scary living on your own, especially when older and retired. I am not happy in joining groups of people as I am quite introverted and do not feel comfortable. I am trying to get used to living alone with my own company.
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I agree lonliness is awful. I do not want to bother anybody. I had a bit of support from one or two friends but that has now dropped off as it has been 11 months. I suffer from depression due to lonliness. I spend a lot of my time alone and cry from depression a lot of time. I wish there was a solution as I certainly do not want to take medication.
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Hi I find the loneliness excrutiating. I spend a lot of time on my own and after being with my husband for nearly fifty years it’s hard to now be on my own. I am suffering with depression but I am on medication. I don’t know if they are doing any good but not sure how much worse I would be without them. I have a small family but they have their own lives and I don’t like to put on them. I think that I don’t fit into society now and that is hard to accept. I was always a glass half full person but I don’t know where that person has gone. Take care.X
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Hi Cooki
whereabouts are you in Lincolnshire.?.
I have joined Jollie Dollies and made some friends who are widows, we go out for a coffee and this week we are going out for lunch. We all understand what we have been and are going through, have a look on line there could be a JD group in your area so you can make some likeminded friends which does help a lot.
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You sound like me I miss my husband every day we were together 50 years met when I was 16 and him 17
It’s like you say it’s hard to get out there and meet people to talk things over and I definitely feel like I don’t belong anymore now I am on my own it’s like you become invisible
Just taking one day at a time and hoping it will get better
I hadn’t realised how many people have had the same experience in losing someone I thought my loss was exclusive but I can now see we are all going through bad times
It helps to see what others feel like and so I keep reading the messages and posting my feelings too
Sorry I can’t give any advice just now but it does help to keep looking on here
Thank you I’ll take a look. I’m south lincs spalding area.
Hi thank you for your reply @Widow1. Yes it does help knowing what you are feeling and thinking is not abnormal. It’s just what we have to go through to hopefully a future we can feel comfortable with. Don’t think I will ever be truly happy again. But who knows?X
It’s a week and one day…I’m just exhausted, can’t sleep just feel the ache so hard in my chest…I don’t know what I’m going to do without him …I just can’t imagine life now . I have older kids who are struggling but holding on to me making home a home still. I just want to do nothing …we spent everyday together…it’s unbearable.
Hi Murtlewillowdip
It is incredibly hard but I promise you it does get easier, you will be in huge shock and will be finding it very hard to even believe it has happened. I will be truthful with you, the mornings are dreadful, you will have a split second upon waking of normality then it rushes in like a tsunami and hurricane and you will feel utterly overwhelmed. This is completely normal and it is better to accept the pain and weep, cry, scream, moan do whatever you want to release that awful pain. Tears and grieving are healing for our mind and body.
You will have times or even days when you can barely stop crying, you will have days when you are just numb and cannot comprehend anything. Everything you feel is normal. Your memory will become very poor because your brain is used up coping with grief. Write lists and ask others to help you remember what you need to do.
Let your family help you, ask them for help, even if it just making hot drinks or easy snacks to keep you sustained. Sleep when you can but don’t worry if you cannot sleep, it will come eventually and in short amounts at first.
Keeping a journal and writing your thoughts may help, or writing to your loved one. Talk to him if it helps. we are all different but we are also all the same…loosing your “other half” is just that you have lost half of you and every little thing will show this, but please believe me it does get easier. I am 10 weeks in and I have started to inch my way back in to life, some days i am hopeless and cry a lot, some days i can go out into the world and mix with others. All we can do is take tiny steps, accept and ask for help and although grief will never go away ( because grief is our love and we will always love them). We are learning to build a life around grief and you will too.
Reading and writing on here helps a lot as we are all in the same boat and some are further along and some are following you. Don’t try and supress your grief accept it and let it flow out of you. Sending you love, hugs and strength. X
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Hi penny, you describe grief do well and yes go with it the highs and lows of which there are many. I’m 17 months in and still teary at times. Little things remind me and it hits hard. But we keep going . Sending hugs.
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Thank you Cooki, sending hugs back to you and everyone else who needs one, and everyone who doesn’t need one can have one too. Hugs all round…a giant group hug ! 
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