WIFE OF 30 YEARS HAS PASSED AWAY

Wife of 30 years passed away 2 months ago after 2 days in hospital i live alone now and dont think i can go on alone

Hello hotrod
I am so very sorry that you have lost your wife and are feeling so desolate. It is very early days and your pain will be very raw and all pervading but I just wanted to reassure you that somehow , almost in spite of yourself, you will manage to survive and carve out a new existence. Each one of us has to find our own unique way of coping and there are no rights or wrongs…just let your body tell you what it needs in each moment and try not to look too far into the future…we who are left behind will never be completely healed but we can still have the odd moments of joy and our loved ones will live forever in our hearts. Two years on I still have bad days but they are not as frequent and I know that each one will pass.Please keep posting on here and read some of the other threads where you will meet others feeling just as you do…everyone on this site understands and we are all here for each other. Take care and never ever give up.X

Thanks for your kind words i am all alone and no one to talk to i cant eat or sleep ive seen my gp hes given me anti depressants and sleeping tablets but nothing works

I forgot to mention i was her carer for 20 years and my life feels so empty

Hi hotrod ime so sorry your having to go through this .i lost my partner liz three months ago and i feel i have been through every emotion there is .you will be so raw at the moment its not been long for you .like you i became a carer so its not just the loss . Its like you have lost a job to . But try and keep eating and caring for yourself try and go out for walks be with people and familie .i felt dead inside and i was never going to get through it but even thoe i still feel awful and horribly lonely i have noticed a slight diffrence. So you hang on in there just keep saying i will get through this we humans are very strong and manage to get strengh from somwhere to carry on . Best wishs p

Like yourself i was her carer for over twenty years towards the end she couldnt walk dress herself cook a meal now i am lost with nothing to do

I know you will be feeling lost and its early days for you. What i did was find a bereavement group .rang hospice and got bereavement counciling i found it very helpful .i allso went for short walks in park i dont know if you have any children but talked to them and friends.the greif comes in waves some bigger than others i just sat them out .its early for you at the moment so nothing i say will help but keep telling yourself i Will get through this . You did a great job looking after your wife many men would not have done what you have . Best wishs .p

Thanks for your kind words

i feel the same as you.My lovely husband of 28 years died on the 12th July i buried him on the 24th and i feel i cant go on.Its the empty house,not hearing his voice,laying next to him at night.Its so difficult.My husband was alot older than me and had bladder cancer,he was so brave.But the end was so quick.I feel numb,weak,tired.Keep bursting into tears.I keep talking to him,i visit him at his grave and talk to him.I feel as you do,cant possibly have a future without him.

Hello, Hotrod. I am sorry to read that you have lost your lovely wife, and can understand the way you are feeling. My husband died just over a year ago and we had been married for 66 years. I know how it feels when you no longer want to carry on, and there are times when I wish my dodgy heart would stop while I am asleep. Then I think of the unhappiness it would cause our two sons and two daughters and realize that my life must go on regardless of the pain. Despite what we’ll-meaning people say, we can never recover completely from the loss of someone we loved so much. The loneliness is unbearable.
I hope you will be able to find some peace eventually but it takes a long time. After 14 months I still have dreadful days when all I want is to be with him. But they are gradually getting fewer, and I am trying my best to build a new life, which is not easy at 87.
Posting on here will help you as the knowledge that there are others who feel as destitute as you is encouraging.
We are all in the same rocky boat I’m sorry to say.

Take care of yourself
Kind regards
Eileen

Hi there.Like you I was my beloveds carer for 30 yrs.now life seems so empty and worthless.every waking moment was spent caring for her.I feel the same as you and there is nothing left to live for but I am just about getting through each day,all I can say is that you have the love of everyone on this forum it means a great deal to me knowing that there are others who know what we’re going through. Love and blessings to your

Filling that void is the important thing now. My husband died 9 years ago after a 2 year battle with cancer.
At the time I wasn’t working full time as I had caring responsibilities for him, and that left little time for other activities so when he died my and children had left home and for the first time I was alone and needed to work to keep a roof over my head.
I filled that void with work, I joined groups with similar interests and With amazingly brilliant timing my son and his girl friend had a beautiful baby girl.
Nothing- Nothing makes grief easier to bear and I still yearn for him BUT
I have learned to build a new life around the old one, NOT to forget the life we had together, as that was special and I loved it but I needed to close the door on that life, and to live my new life wholeheartedly and look for the good in it.
It’s still hard, but this has made it bearable.
I hope you find some way to build a new life around the very best of your old one.
God bless you x

I’ve just read your post and I’m so sorry for your loss. I think that almost everyone in this online community knows the dreadful feeling ~ you don’t know how you will carry on…
When you reflect that you had 30 wonderful years with your lovely wife, 2 months since your loss is a very short period of time, although it probably feels like an eternity.
You have obviously been an amazing husband who has cared for your wife throughout her illness.
You are not alone, so many of us know exactly what you are feeling. Try to be kind to yourself, take little steps, the support of like-minded people in this community will help you through. Big virtual hug to you and keep in touch…

Hi HR. So sad to hear of your loss, glad to hear your coping well. I’d love to close my door but the key is still missing. Congratulations on having your grandchild. Much love to you.

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