Hi I just looked in the mirror and seen a person I don’t recognise . She looks old and her eyes are dead no sparkle. Her face is so sad and drawn . I realise it’s me my hubby wouldn’t recognise me . I’m so sad and lonely haven’t seen him for six months. Haven’t laughed with him, told him about my day or him about his, haven’t kissed him good morning or goodnight,havent made his dinner or he made me a cuppa. I miss him so so much . I am a totally different person and I don’t like me I don’t like feeling like this, I don’t like the thoughts I have.why can’t we just give up and die while we are asleep. Then I will get me back when I’m with him again .x
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I know broken its so very hard isn’t it. Only tonight I thought Jim’s never coming home he will never walk through door again and I started to cry again. I tried to see doctor today as my IBS is flared up probably due to the state my head is in. But can’t get appointment till next week. It’s right what you say we have missed out on so many things we did before and never do again. How are we supposed to cope with all this grief on our own. I feel bad for feeling like this when there’s so many people in Ukraine going through such a hard time … why did god take such a good man and leave evil people still alive life doesn’t make sense . so sad tonight. Take care broken thinking of you xx
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Hi thank you for your reply . Hope you get sorted at Doctors terrible you have to wait for appointment. This life is awful , my hubby is on my mind all the time even when I’m at work. I plodd along then it hits me like a ton of bricks , that he s not coming back. I think why couldn’t we have had another few years together without illness then we both died together in a car crash or something . I see old couples together and think I’m never going to have that. I wish I had told him more that I love him and worship him and thank him for our life together. You think you will have forever and then it’s stolen from you .x thinking of you and everyone trying to find there way in this life they don’t want x take care x
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It’s so hard isn’t it. I’ve felt a bit down today tending his garden and hoping I’m doing the right things out there. He would have loved the Spring day we had today and have been pottering about all day. Instead there was only me trying to remember what he did with the lawn so I’ve cut it and fed it. I’m having some work done soon, not sure he would approve but it will make it easier for me.
Miss you babe so much 
George xxx
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I’m the same, he’s on my mind 24hr a day. I’ve completely forgotten what I’ve been supposed to do at work on occasions as I’m not focused. I even tried phoning him 2 days ago to tell him something funny that happened at work. Then I remembered I couldn’t and have been a crying mess since. Just can’t see an end to it 
xx
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I’m the same but I text my husband messages I know they are not going to get though to him but I hope he knew how much I love him and miss him more as each day passes. Life is so hard and lonely, miss everything we did together.
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Hi broken 2222
I was at the doctors last week and that’s exactly what I told him. I feel a different person, anxious, no confidence and just feeling down and that I wanted the old me back. Got medication and I’m going for some counselling. He said it’s a long journey and just have to be patient and I will feel better in time. I might feel better but I think I will still be different to what I was before. I suppose better will have to do.
Take care xx
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Hi thank you all for your replies . It is so hard every minute , every hour and every day trying to go on without the one person we just want to be with . And wondering how long we have to endure this existence . Acting ok with relatives and friends when inside we are screaming. X
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Hi. My partner of 23 yrs passed away suddenly 15 yrs ago. I was 37 and he was only 42. We met as kids and only his passing separated us.
For the first couple of years I don’t really know how I survived. My whole adult life until then had been with Donny in it. It was hard, very hard. I didn’t want to do anything at all. I wanted to sit with him and tell him how much his loss was affecting me just like we would chat if either of us were upset about something. No one else knew me the way we knew each other. No one could understand the huge void that had been left . We didn’t have children , just each other and that was enough for us both. Every part of my being ached. I wanted him back to talk to,to cry too ,to cuddle. To hear how he thought I could cope with life without him. I would call his mobile just to hear his voicemail message. I returned to work after 5 weeks, it was difficult at first but I knew I needed some sort of a new " normality" to my life. I decided in order to honour and cherish his life and the life that we had built together I had to make a start of trying to feel happiness again. It was by no means easy. I had to force myself to go for meals with the girls from work, invite friends around to the house. It became apparent over the first year who my true friends were and how the others had just dropped out of my world. I have never felt that I’ve got my life that I once had back but I’ve strived to make a new one. There is no time limit on grieving. My heart still aches for the love I lost . I still weep when I think of him. I can hardly mention his name without taking a deep breath in to hide my sadness. We are all different. I dealt with my sadness by going out in the car and absolutely screaming my head off. No one saw me . But it helped me. Don’t be hard on yourself and please don’t think that your lives can’t go on. They can . Just in a different way than you had planned.
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That made me have such a sharp intake of breath for you. How hard it all is.
Everything you said, I could relate to, missing the person you would sit with and talk over your deepest, darkest thoughts. It’s beyond anything you could ever comprehend. Bless you.x
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